Unbroken Souls (Spencer Reid x Reader POV)

Chapter 11*

As I walk up to the door of Spencer's apartment complex, I see him nervously fidgeting with his hands as he waits in the main foyer to let me in and bring me to his place. He's wearing a fitted dress shirt with the cuffs rolled up just under his elbows, exposing his muscular forearms with veins that seem so beautifully present, carrying the blood to his soft yet protective hands. He sees me and I see his adams apple bob as he swallows hard, taking a few strides through the door to hold it open for me as I approach. I see him look me up and down, watching his puppy eyes widen, pupils dilate, and his gaze lingering at my figure for a few extra seconds.

"Y-you look incredible" he says, holding the door open for me.

"As do you" I look him up and down, noticing he's got his top two buttons undone, exposing his strong chest just a little. Seeing him in this low evening light, in a more relaxed state from what I'm used to seeing sends a thirst for his body through mine, making my center heat up and gently make me aware of just how much I wanted him.

We walked through the building and up to his apartment, which was a charming one-bedroom, with a living room full of bookshelves the way I had imagined. In the corner was a keyboard, and a stack of games including chess, checkers, cribbage, and backgammon. His kitchen was small and gives the impression he doesn't cook quite often, but today there were pots and pans in use, and dishes from food prep in the sink. To the left of the kitchen and closest to the door was a small table he had taken two chairs away from, leaving two chairs across the well set table. He had a bottle of white and red wine on the table, alongside a lit candle.

"I wasn't sure if you were a wine drinker, or if you were a red or white kind of lady. Either one pairs quite well with dinner, I made sure of it" he says from behind me as I scan around his apartment.

"I didn't know you played piano. The books I had anticipated, but the keyboard was a surprise"

"You thought about what my apartment would look like?" He laughed slightly as he guided me further into his apartment.

"You haven't thought about what mine might look like?" I turn to meet his warm hazel eyes and melt a little more inside.

He let out another small laugh and looked down before meeting my gaze again. "Guilty. I picture a really modern and organized, yet cozy apartment".

"That's scarily accurate" I laugh back with him.

"I picked up the keyboard after we worked a case where this young boy, nonverbal, told us what happened to him through song. You know, it's really just a series of mathematical patterns consisting of eight repeated notes forming the major and minor scales of the grand staf- Sorry. I'm rambling again" He cuts himself off as I step a little closer to see what books lined his shelves.

"I kind of love that about you, the way you share your brilliant mind with those around you. I've played for a few years but I've never thought of piano as mathematical equations" I say as I drag a finger across the spines of some of his books (a collection of classics, just as I'd envisioned).

He guides me over to the table and pours our glasses of white wine, turning to the kitchen to plate a pasta dish he had made.

"Spence, everything smells incredible" I say after taking a sip of wine. He turns his head to look at me, looking a little confused before I realized I had just called him what JJ calls him. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry, that just kind of slipped, I guess I heard JJ call you Spence once and-" he smiles and cuts me off.

"I like it better how it sounds when you call me Spence" he adds as he walks the plates over to the table. Fuck... at this point, it's more than a want, it's a need to have him. I can feel my face reddening out of embarrassment and arousal.

We spend two hours at the table eating, drinking and storytelling before he looked at me with eyes that could undress you in one fell swoop and asked "do you want to move over to the couch where it's more comfortable?" while reaching out his hand to take mine. I take his hand and we get up, moving to the couch as he guides me over.

"Yesterday you said that you felt things were left unsaid between us?" I asked as we sat on the couch, strategically close enough that I could feel his body heat and he could feel mine.

"I'm sorry if that was too forward. I'm really not good with this kind of stuff and maybe I read into things... It just felt like there was more to say, but I couldn't bring myself to say it" he started nervously fidgeting with his hands again, so I moved an inch closer to him and he met my gaze with those beautiful hazel eyes.

"Not good with what, Reid?" I inquired softly.

"Emotions, I guess. It's not that I don't want to be, it's just a fear of being vulnerable and once people see what's inside..."

"You're afraid they won't like it" I say, finishing his sentence. "I've always carried that same fear. That you'll see who I am, and you won't like it. It's a kind of hurt I don't know I could survive again" I start to drop my gaze but he reaches out and cups my cheek ever so slightly, so I hold my gaze with his. He doesn't drop his hand but instead leans in ever so slightly to begin closing the gap between us.

"You make me feel something I haven't really felt before, not like this. It's a new kind of warmth... and I don't want to be afraid of it" he almost whispers, getting even closer. I could swear that he could hear my heart trying to beat out of my chest as my arousal intensified the closer he got.

"Afraid of what?" my voice shaking slightly. Is this the moment that our two souls, souls that have been beaten, borrowed, blue, shattered, and put back together too many times to count collide into a new experience of unbrokenness?

"Afraid of telling you... of showing you, how I feel" he says quietly, quickly licking his lips and leaning in closer, his hand that's been on my cheek guiding me closer into him until our lips meet softly in the middle. I kiss him back harder, reciprocating the feelings of passion and admiration I hold for him, as my hand cups the nape of his neck pulling him in closer to me.