Unbroken Souls (Spencer Reid x Reader POV)

Chapter 31

My stomach was twisted in knots and I felt like I could throw up as I watched the team bust through the front door of the unsub's house. There's a reason I didn't go into the agent side of stuff when I joined the FBI, and now that I'm hopelessly in love with a man who actively runs into danger for a living, I have to face the fear of him not coming back home after work. Suddenly, the sounds of screams and a gunshot filled the air; without even thinking about it, I tried to run towards the house that Spencer was in, and got held back forcibly by two local police officers. Despite my thrashing and yelling, the police officers continued to restrain me as hot tears streamed down my face. All I could think about was Spencer not coming home and becoming a victim of the man who murdered my sister. One of the officer's radios went off and Spencer's voice came through, silencing my struggle against the officers.

"Suspect shot by FBI, we got one victim in here; send in the medics right away. We also need Hillburg asap, this girl needs someone who isn't an agent or paramedic". I'd never really heard Reid give orders before, but something about it was calming. The officers let me go, and I ran into the house. Rossi stopped me first, a look of concern filling his face before saying "Hillburg, the victim is in this room here, the unsub is in a different room. We separated them; I know this will be hard but I need you to focus on the victim". I nodded in agreement, trying to catch a glance of this bastard over Rossi's shoulder but to no avail.

I took a deep breath and walked into what looked like a dining room, the victim curled in the corner as medics attached monitors to her, and Spencer stood in the corner. I sat on the floor beside the victim and introduced myself alongside what I do. Her name was Evelyn, and after a little bit of rapport building with her, she agreed to have me accompany her to the hospital. We loaded up into the ambulance, and JJ was sent with me. We spent a few hours at the hospital, eventually getting Evelyn reconnected with her parents. I gave each of them my card and offered my services to them before JJ and I left. Outside the hospital entrance was Prentiss in one of the SUVs waiting to take us back to Quantico. Silently, JJ and I got in the car, with JJ up front and myself in the back.

"Really great work today Hillburg, you too JJ" Prentiss offered a soft smile in our direction, and without any warning I completely broke down, tears silently streaming down my face. JJ and Emily exchanged concerned glances before JJ said "I'm so sorry about your sister, Charlotte. But today we were able to get some justice for her. And that monster will never hurt anyone ever again. Your sister can truly be at rest now". I stayed silent for the duration of the ride back to Quantico, eventually, the tears dried up and I stared aimlessly out the window watching city lights stream past. As we got back to the office and headed up to the sixth floor, the BAU offices fell silent as I walked through the door, everyone slowly turning to look at me in a pitying way. In the middle of them all stood Sawyer; he pulled me into a hug and quietly said "I had no idea this case was connected to her, kid. I'm so sorry, I never would have... take as much time as you need". I broke away and handed him my files and notes, nodding to the rest of the BAU team before turning to leave. Spencer quickly looked at Hotch for approval to go, and Hotch obliged. I heard his heavy footsteps running down the hallway after me, catching me in the elevator and pulling me into a hug. I softly sobbed against his chest as he rubbed my back and repeatedly whispered "shh, I've got you. You're safe".

Once we got back into his apartment, he helped me into one of his t-shirts and sweats, getting me all cozy in bed and laying with me. He didn't say anything, nor did I, but feeling his warmth and cuddles made me feel so much better. I couldn't tell you how long we stayed like this, but it felt like quite a while before he broke the silence.

"Where's your prescription? I can go get it filled at the 24 hour pharmacy around the corner. You must be in pain".

"I – I'm scared Spence" I whispered, feeling the sting of tears at my eyes again. I had lost my sister, my mother, essentially my father... I couldn't lose the person I cared about most.

"Oh baby, please don't do this to yourself because of me" his voice broke and it sounded like he was about to cry. I rolled over to face him, seeing his eyes were welling up.

"I can't lose you too" I let a tear roll down my cheek as his hand cupped my face, the distance between us growing shorter and shorter.

"You're never, ever going to lose me. I promise you; with everything I am and everything I have, you're never going to lose me in any way" he said quietly letting a tear escape his eyes before he kissed me softly. As he pulled away to look at me again, he put my good hand in his and squeezed. "While I go get your meds, and anything else you desire in the meantime, why don't you change the combination to my gun safe to a code only you know, and if it makes you feel better you can keep your meds in there?" he suggested. I nodded in agreement as he kissed my forehead and got up, grabbing his keys to head out. Once he left, I wandered over to his closet and followed his suggestion, changing the code to one he wouldn't guess, leaving the door to the safe open before crawling back into bed. I felt the familiar feeling of deep depression sucking me back into its black hole.

I closed my eyes and let myself sink into the darkness until I was pulled back to the light that was Spencer. He handed me the bottle of pills and a glass of water, helping me sit up to take the pill before he asked if I needed anything else.

"Can I watch you lock up the meds? And then I– I need you, Spence" tears spilling yet again from my tired eyes. He walked backwards to the open safe, keeping his eyes on me the entire time as I heard the safe lock; a weight of concern lifted off of my chest as he came back over to me, giving me a soft kiss before crawling into bed and turning off the lights.

Lying in the safety of his arms always made me feel secure, and feeling his breathing against me calmed me in a way that words could not describe. This world is full of horrific things, but people like Spencer Reid made me see the bright and shiny amongst the dark and scary. My breath hitched as I inhaled deeply, finally settling just a little bit more before falling into sleep.