When Love Calls

Abandoned

Faith: So Aisha we're going to get deep. And we can go as deep as you allow, but it's up to you.

Aisha: Okay, I willing to do whatever it takes to get back to myself.

Faith: Okay so tell me, who is Aisha?

Aisha: Well in all honesty, I don't even know who Aisha is.

Faith: Did you ever know who she was?

Aisha: I used to know.

Faith: And what happened?

Aisha: Life happened.

Faith: You care to elaborate?

Aisha: My parents. I love them but I feel like them wanting a better life for my siblings and I, destroyed me in the process.

Faith: Wym by that?

Aisha: They was never there. They were always working or traveling.

Faith: And did that make you feel abandoned in a way?

Aisha: Not in just a way, it did make me feel abandoned. When it came to paying bills and doing what they needed to do financially with making sure we had the things we needed, they were cash on. But when it came to what we needed emotionally, mentally, physically, etc, they wasn't there. And I feel like that's the one thing that parents fail at. They want to always say what they did financially, but what happened to everything else. I needed that tender loving care more than anything.

Faith: How old were you when you started to notice their absence?

Aisha: I was 5

Faith: Did you ever feel like they didn't love you?

Aisha: Not the way that I needed to be loved. The only person that truly made me feel safe was my sister. And sad thing is, she's going through enough as it is, all while still trying to carry the world on her shoulders. And when she almost died after having their baby boy, It nearly killed me. I felt like my heart had literally stop beating.

Faith: You and her share a special bond.

Aisha: That's my heart. I mean she has her own family now and I don't ever want to be selfish and take that time away from them. But I miss our time together.

Faith: You know your sister loves you and she wants the best for you. And seeing you hurt, literally breaks her. She may not tell you that, but it does. When she thought something had happened to you, she literally stop breathing. And was ready to cut any and everybody.

Aisha: She's always been like that. She would always tell people that I'm her daughter, our mom just had me for her. And tbh with you that's literally what it seems like.

Faith: That's special. So do you want that relationship with your mom?

Aisha: I do, but it's just not me that have to put in the work, It takes two.

Faith: Well have you addressed to her?

Aisha: I honestly don't know how to, without sounding selfish and ungrateful.

Fatima: Aisha your feelings are valid. And regardless of what, it's your truth. You should never be afraid of that.

Aisha: You're right. But how do you tell your parents that you've felt abandoned most of your life?

Faith: Easy. That's like you're sitting here talking to me,  express it to them the same way. And don't hide anything, live in your .

Aisha: I guess you're right.

Faith: So what about your romantic relationships?

Aisha: They only two men that I've had was my first love who was killed my Junior year of college and now with Mike who's right now I've falling out of love with.

Faith: Do you think that you could get back to that place of y'all being in love?

Aisha: Honestly no. He betrayed me and honestly it's not even about that, or even the cheating part. No I don't condone cheating, be he and I had fallen out of love long before the cheating came about.

Fatima: What you think happened?

Aisha: I don't know. I just know that one day I woke up and he wasn't the man that I fell in love with. He wasn't the same, his kisses wasn't the same, his touch didn't feel the same, he didn't look at me with the same eyes, hold me with the same arms, his I love you didn't feel the same, I mean everything about him just wasn't visible. It's like I was literally sleeping and waking up next to a stranger.

Faith: It seems that you've experienced a lot of hurt and adversity in your life.

Aisha: I have and we only touched the surface of it.

Faith: Well as long as you keep allowing me in, I will continue to be here to help you through.

Aisha: My sister said you were the best so I'm going to trust her on that.

Faith: Its because I actually listen to understand my patients instead of listening to respond just for a check. And Aisha never allow anyone to make you feel any type away about doing something they're to afraid to do. And always be honest and transparent with self first.

Aisha: I appreciate that, I really do.

Faith: And I appreciate your honesty with today's session. We're going to get through this.

Aisha: Yes we are.

Faith: I'll be seeing you soon.

Aisha: Okay, and thank you again.

Faith: You're so welcome. Now go feed that baby and enjoy the rest of your day.

Aisha leaves Faith office and headed to get something to eat. She calls Fatima.

Fatima: Hello

Aisha: Hey sis you busy?

Fatima: Not really. Just sitting here feed your greedy nephew. What's wrong?

Aisha: Leave my baby alone. And nothing's wrong, I was calling to let you know that I'm just leaving therapy.

Fatima: And how did it go?

Aisha: It went good.

Fatima: That's good, and I'm proud of you.

Aisha: Sis if I don't say it enough, i'm so thankful and grateful for you. Like you've really been the only person to ever make me feel safe, and I just want you to know that I love and appreciate you.

Fatima: And I love and appreciate you as well. Sis I don't care what happens in life, you will always have me no matter what. And just know that I see you, even when you don't think I'm watching and paying attention, know that I am.

Aisha: I know sis.

Fatima: And Aisha in order for you to properly heal, you have to have that conversation. I don't have to say what it is, I know and you know what I'm talking about.

Aisha: Eventually I will sis, I promise.

Fatima: What you about to do?

Aisha: Get something to eat and head to the house.

Fatima: Mike there?

Aisha: No, he left last night.

Fatima: So this is really happening?

Aisha: We had a conversation and we both felt and agreed that it's best that we go our separate ways right now. We still love each other but we're just not in love anymore. And I'm not sure if we could get back there. But right now my focus is on me healing me and on my unborn child.

Fatima: And right now that's all that matters. If the two of you are meant to be together, then y'all will find your way back to each other. If not, then at least y'all can be what y'all need to be for that life of your lil one growing in your stomach..

Aisha: Couldn't have said it better. But ima let you go, kiss my babies for me and I will call you later. I love you

Fatima: Okay sis. I love you more

They hung up and Aisha picked up her food.