UN: Could someone fetch Mr. Olympics, please? We need to borrow one of his ice rinks for this...
EU: I'll get him; his office is next to mine anyway.
USA: Why do we need an ice rink?
UN: Canada and Russia are going to play hockey!
Poland: Can that-
NATO: -Trigger Article 5? No, Poland, it's a sport, not a war.
Germany: It is when those two play it!
***
Olympics: You may begin when the whistle is blown!
[UN]: I should probably just describe what happened next...
Russia began with the puck, speeding away down the rink. He was mere seconds away from scoring, but Canada swept it away from him at the last second, taking it and firing it into the Russian net at the other end of the ice rink.
Russia: Blyat!
Canada: Language, Russia!
Russia: Don't tell me what to do.
[UN]: The next round commenced shortly afterwards. Canada was first to reach the puck this time, narrowly dodging Russia and firing it diagonally into his goal.
Olympics: 2-0 to Canada, one round left. Begin!
USA: Canada's already won.
Olympics: True, but Russia won't go down without a fight in my experience...
[UN]: Olympics was right; as Canada sped off with the puck, Russia stayed firmly on his tail, waiting for the perfect moment...
Canada: Russia, that's cheating! You can't take it from behind me like that!
Russia: I can too!
Olympics: Mr. Russia-
Canada: YOU GET BACK HERE, RUSSIA!
Russia: NEVER!
[UN]: Before anyone could tell what was happening, Canada had hit Russia over the head with his hockey stick, causing him to fall onto the ice, breaking his nose in the process. Now furious, Russia rose to his feet, blood streaming from his face, and grabbed Maple's shoulder, pushing him with extreme force over to the rink's edge, now hitting the Canadian with his own hockey stick repeatedly, until-
Germany: Russia, stop! You've knocked him unconscious!
Russia: ...Oh dear.
UN: Time-Out when we get back, Russia?
Russia: ...Da.
Olympics: I'll call an ambulance then, seeing as everyone else seems to have forgotten.
Poland: Are you sure Article 5 doesn't cover this?
NATO: ...Probably not. Hard to say.
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Ask The Countryhumans!
FanfictionHello! Welcome to 'Ask The Countryhumans'! The nations are all here and willing to answer any questions you have for them (not that they have a choice, I locked them in the UN Headquarters soo-)! Have fun! -United Nations :D (Cover art isn't mine!)
