Sept. 21st, 2017
Honestly I don't know what to do anymore. I don't feel like I can keep doing this, keep sleeping with guys I don't even know, hurting people that have done nothing to deserve it, and bullying people. I don't want to it but I feel like I need to. Like everybody would hate me if I didn't. I'm popular but does it mean anything if I hate myself for how I am. I love having everyone's attention but I hate everything about what I do and who I am. I'm a stone cold bitch. Today I made a girl cry just because she bumped into me in the hallway. Who even does that? Who makes people feel like such shit about themselves? I hate it. But how can I stop? If I stop I have nobody. It's not like I have my parents or even a sibling. All I have is my foster mom and my other "friends" but its not like my friends care that much about me anyways. All I really have is myself and I don't like myself all that well.
Sept. 30th, 2017
6 days went by with me not bullying a single person. Almost a week then 3 days ago was when people started to notice. Everyone was acting like I had a problem with them. Saying how fake I was if I didn't really hate the people I use to bully. I kept hearing them in my head. If I didn't have them who would I have? Who would make me smile? Who would talk to me? Who would even want to text me? Nobody . So on that 7th day a girl came up to my friends and I, all she wanted to do was talk to us, but I poured her soda down the back of her shirt. I cant do this anymore. I can't keeping acting like this. I can't. Today is the last day I treat anyone like this ever. Today is the day I stop feeling this way about myself. Today is the day I fix everything. Today is the day the people I bully get let free.
Oct. 12th, 2017
I tried to kill myself. I'm not going to be shy about it after all this is just my journal. It's not like anyone is going to read it besides me. It's for my feelings. To help me. I spent 72 hours in a hospital on suicide watch after my surgeries. I spent a whole week in the hospital. My foster mom wants us to move. She thinks that this town and the people in it are what caused this but it was me and my life that caused it. I'm leaving tomorrow to go live with her brother in California. Long move from Buffalo, New York to L.A. Guess I'm up for a long plane ride. It's just me going. I don't wanna be the person I was here. All my past mistakes all my bad decisions are long gone. Its time for me to be the person I want to be. I get a fresh start at a new place.
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Making Out Is Good For You
Teen FictionBrooke is a cheerleader and definitely miss popular. Why does she feel so bad about herself then? if she has everything girls want. She gets the hot guys, the cool kids table, everybody stares at her when she walks down the hall. She's a bully. She...
