28. Sinking

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I'm so scared of falling, I wasIn and out, up and down, too afraid to be openI found myself in you, and it made me feel so fucking scared

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I'm so scared of falling, I was
In and out, up and down, too afraid to be open
I found myself in you, and it made me feel so fucking scared

'Cause, when I am open
All my past and all my pain floats up to the surface
You can even cut me down with a smile, it hurts so bad

So, I leave when it gets too good, yeah-yeah
I leave when it gets too good, but

In a perfect world, I am here with you
And I kiss you slow in a dim-lit room
When you ask me if I love you, I say, "I do"
I'm not running from my problems, and I'm not running from you

-

-In A Perfect World by Dean Lewis & Julia Michaels



(Lorelei's P.O.V)

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

I had beat myself up all night after Edward left. His reaction to our almost kiss had me worse for wear. I felt like such an idiot. A heavy, sinking feeling settled in the pit of my stomach and didn't leave. I immediately recognized the feeling- fear.

Somehow, I just knew that I had ruined everything. Our friendship was over and it was all my fault. Panic gripped me at the thought. He meant too much to me to just lose him completely, even though our friendship was bound to come to an end soon.

Wednesday morning, instead of going for my usual morning swim, I chose to stay home and skim through Jimmy's book one last time since I had to give it back today. Just as I was about to close the book, I stumbled upon a page that caught my eye.

Fae.

Fae? Fairies? Fairies exist? There was just one small section about Fae consisting of two pages in the thick book.

'-believed to be extinct.'
'-nature magic'
'-lux fae harness magic from the sun. -light/fire.'
'-strong connection to the earth and the moon.'
'-psychic tendencies. -dreams'

A gasp flew through my lips when I realized that I harbored quite a few similarities with the extinct Fae race. How could that be? I was at a loss, a standstill, in my investigation. The book didn't contain anymore information about Fae.

I ran a hand through my hair out of frustration and sighed when I was met with tangles. I needed to get ready for class. I was torn between just throwing on the first thing I saw and actually trying to dress to impress.

In the end, I decided I want to look nice in hopes of garnering Edward's attention. I knew I needed to apologize about trying to kiss him but I was so unbelievably embarrassed.

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