32. Thirty-Six Days

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(Edward's P

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(Edward's P.O.V)



It was pure torture. Truly. I couldn't escape the pain. I was reliving the agony I felt during the dark years. The dark years being the first few years after Bella- when the blinding pain was at its greatest.



The agonizing pain in my chest was all that I felt for days after seeing her face again. The pain I was feeling now was different though. It was a mixture of two different types of pain. The stabbing pain in my chest was due to seeing Bella after seventeen years.



The other pain went much deeper than that; I felt it deep in my veins. It was eating away at me- driving me mad. As I sat down on a rock jutting from the earth and stared out at the sea, I was instantly reminded of a golden-haired girl.



She had told me her favorite memory was the first time she had seen the sea, saying she felt free. She felt at home.



Home. As I envisioned her angelic face and sea green eyes, the deep pain grew stronger. It nearly took my breath away. Surprisingly, it overwhelmed the stabbing pain in my chest. That's when I realized where the unknown pain was coming from- I missed her. I missed Lorelei.



The waves crashed against the shore of Isle Esme, the island that Carlisle had gifted to Esme many years ago. How long had I been gone? How much time had passed since I had seen Lorelei? I frowned when I remembered our last conversation. I had stormed out of her house angry with myself for sending her mixed signals, and also angry with her for calling me out on it.



Fear gripped me in that moment. I could feel myself starting to panic. She would probably never speak to me again. I was certain that I had ruined everything between us.



I needed to see her again. Or at least know that she was okay. I took off at a sprint towards the vacation home where I had stashed my cellphone. I hadn't so much as looked at it since I left Maine.



My phone was full of countless missed calls and text messages. To my dismay (and delight), many were from Lorelei. I knew I couldn't simply call her up and apologize, despite how badly I wanted to.



I hurriedly dialed Alice's number and wasn't surprised when she picked up on the first ring.



"I was expecting your call," her chipper voice flooded through the speaker.



I couldn't help but smile. "Of course you were. How has she been?"



After I spoke, I realized that perhaps Alice wouldn't know which she I was referring to.



She was silent for a moment, and I had to stop myself from panicking. If anything were to happen to Lorelei or Bella, I wouldn't be able to survive. Finally, she spoke, "She's been.. okay. I can tell she misses you though."



Of course she knew who I was referring to. I should have known better than to doubt Alice. But I couldn't help but notice that her voice sounded strange; off. She was keeping something from me.

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