Sadie Sink gxg Imagines

A/N (please read)

Hey guys.

My updates are gonna be a lot slower than normal because

1.
School is starting back up soon for me and I'm dreading it.

and

2.
I've been struggling a lot with my mental health recently and I've been feeling things and having a lot of thoughts about a lot of things that I haven't felt or thought of before. It's also giving me a huge writer's block and I have little to no motivation to write atm.

I know a lot of people struggle with mental health and continue writing, but it kinda just hit me like a ton of bricks and it's a lot for me to sort out right now.

A handful of the stories I've written have been about mental health and I just wrote them to bring awareness to them, but it's all slowly starting to become a reality for me as well.

I know it's not the most effective way to express this on Wattpad to a bunch of strangers, but there's really no one else in my life I feel comfortable enough sharing all of this with and I know that I can relate to some of your situations.

First off, I've known for a while that I've at least had mild anxiety, but I never realized how actually severe it is until recently.

I've learned that I have pretty bad social anxiety and I've tried communicating this to my mom, to which she only tells me that I need to just suck it up and deal with it like she had to do when she had severe anxiety (which is a horrible parenting method, or even horrible advice to give anyone) and then dropped the topic. This led me to feel really uncomfortable communicating any feelings with anyone with the fear they'll have the same reaction my mom did.

I've also become really self-concious about how I act around people and what I say and what I look like, etc.

I will stay out of conversations because I don't want to come off as annoying, I will be in extreme discomfort if it means others will be happy because they might call me selfish if I even try to put myself first for once, and I would gladly be someone else's therapist if it meant I got no help with my own mental health.

I've also developed this habit of not eating when I'm with a large group of people. I'm a naturally really picky eater and scared to try new things, so I always stick to my bland meals. Every single time without fail, at least one person points out my eating habits and makes me really insecure about myself and how I eat.

My grandpa is probably one of the worst, though. Whenever I see him and eat in front of him, he'll question my diet and tell me that I shouldn't be eating as much as I do. Keep in mind, my brother and I have the same exact diet, and not once has my grandpa ever said anything like that to him.

I always eat away from people now, which has also led me to eat less. I'm not gonna classify it as an eating disorder, but in a way, it's sort of like that.

At night when I'm trying to sleep, thoughts of self harm come into my head nonstop. I don't do self harm, not yet, but I feel pretty damn close to it.

Only one person in my personal bubble knows a little about my mental health, but that's only because I joke about it and they've started to catch on. I have told them briefly about what I feel, but even then I only skimmed the surface becsuse I seriously don't trust telling them anything else with the fear of them leaving.

That's kind of my rant for now, you don't have to read all of this because I know it's a lot coming out of nowhere, but I just needed to tell at least someone about this and put it out there that mental health issues are a big deal.

I know I'll probably get a lot worse, but I'm trying to turn it around before it gets to that point, which isn't going too well because I can't talk to anyone in my actual life about any of this.

If you're struggling with anything, my dm's are always open and I know for a fact that everyone who follows me and reads my stories are apart of a great and helpful community, so feel free to talk away in the chat.

Have a good day/night, get some food, drink some water, and get some much deserved rest :)