𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐀𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐨𝐜 | 𝐃𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐬 𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Chapter 76 - Gone for good

I heard the door slam open but didn't lift my head from Matildas cold, dead body. I held a firm grip on her side as I sobbed, hearing slow footsteps coming towards me.

I felt warmth from Sodas body as he kneeled down next to me, rubbing my back gently in a comforting way. He sighed. "What happened?" He spoke. I didn't answer, I couldn't answer. I was crying to damn much to speak, hell I was crying to damn much to even breathe. Soda merely sighed as he continued to comfort me. I heard Darry sniffling from the other side of the bed. The baby and her were gone, and I could tell he was hurt.

"Jesus Christ." I heard a familiar muffled voice, but once again, I didn't lift my head to look. I still couldn't fathom the pain I felt, it was different. It was different than when I watched Johnny nearly die. It was different than when I watched that soc pull a blade on Ponyboy. I guess then I wasn't sure if they were gonna die or not, but when lying against Matilda's still body, I knew she was dead. I knew she was gone, that's she'd never come back.

At that time I was questioning why she was drunk, but deep down I knew exactly why she was. It was my fault, I just didn't want to admit it and bring myself more pain. I pushed her away at the house, I yelled at her. After I left she probably went out to the same bar she always did and had far too many drinks. It hurt to know I killed my sister, like a knife shoved deep into my stomach. I knew it would never go away either. It's like the time I couldn't save Johnny, but worse, because I knew I actually killed her.

I snapped out of my thoughts as I felt a large hand placed on my shoulder. The familiar touch slightly gripped my shoulder. I looked back hurriedly and saw Dally standing behind me, his eyes looking to mine with concern. I jumped up from the ground and wrapped myself around him, inhaling the strong smell of cologne and tobacco. He ran his hands through my hair as I cried, my tears discoloring his black shirt.

"She's dead." I mumbled quietly. He sighed. "I know." He said. "I know." He repeated. "I'm gonna take her to Bucks. Make her feel a little better." Dallas said to Darry and Soda. I looked up from him as we walked out the door, my arm wrapped around his torso. I didn't want a drink, never again. It killed my sister, and I didn't want to end up like her. But I went along with Dallas because there was nothing else to do.

I payed close attention to my steps as they hit the pavement, I didn't blink or breathe, I felt as if I couldn't. My face felt dry and my eyes felt puffy. I was tired from all the crying and struggled to walk to Bucks. With every step I took it became harder and harder to walk, I nearly fell as we made it up the steps to the front door of Bucks.

"Come on." Dallas helped me to the bar. "Two beers." He proceeded to order as we sat down. Buck immediately ran to grab the drinks as we sat quietly, the music playing loudly throughout the building and the light washing my hands red. I sighed as I placed my head to the palm of my hand, putting all the weight on my elbow.

"So..." Dallas spoke, tapping his knuckles against the wood of the counter. "What happened?" He asked, sighing. "I'll tell you later. I don't wanna talk right now Dallas." I answered, throwing my head to the counter. He only nodded his head and stayed silent as he patiently waited for our drinks.

I nearly fell asleep until Buck came over. "Here ya go." He slid the bottles over. "Rough night?" He asked, my head still face planted to the counter. "Yeah..." Dallas trailed off. I lifted my head and looked down to my drink, disgust filled my mind. "I figure a drink should help her." Dallas stated, looking from me to Buck. "It should." Buck stated, nodding his head. "Thanks." Dallas said as Buck left to tend to other customers.

As Dallas downed his entire bottle of beer, I only stared at mine. I traced the edge of it with my finger as I sat with boredom and sadness. Dallas merely looked at me with confusion, his eyebrows furrowed. "Not gonna drink huh?" He asked. I shook my head in response. He sighed. "Come on." He demanded loud enough for only me to hear as he stood up. I stood up slowly from my barstool and slugged over to him.

"Alright." He said in a breath as he threw me over his shoulder. "What are you doing Dal?" I groaned. He didn't answer and instead walked me up to his room. "I'm not in the mood to have sex Dallas." I stated as he closed the door behind him. He stayed silent as he set me gently on his firm bed. "Dallas!" I shouted. "Calm down, I ain't doin nothing." He said as he rolled over me and to the right side of the bed. I sighed as we stayed silent, both of us staring blankly at the ceiling.

"Wanna tell me what happened?" He asked. I took in a deep breath of hesitation before I decided to tell him. "She was drunk." I muttered. I felt as if he looked to me with concern as I still had my eyes placed intently on the whitish ceiling. He wrapped his arm around my neck and softly played with my hair in a comforting manner as tears began welling up in my eyes, the sight of Matilda's dead body flashing in my mind.

"I think it was my fault." I spoke, a single tear slowly trailing down my cheek. He sighed once again. "How was it your fault?" He asked, almost whispering. I sniffled as I began to tell him. "I yelled at her." I replied. I felt a large lump grow in my throat as I spoke more. "She listened to my stupid mom who was forcing us to move." I continued, struggling to hold back my tears, the lump in my throat only growing worse.

"W-why was she forcing you to move." He asked, stuttering with concern. I sarcastically chuckled at his question, wiping away my tears impatiently. "My dad." I shrugged. He exhaled loudly, sinking deeper into the bed. "You dads pretty shitty huh?" He looked to me with a small smile. I laughed in a breath as I looked into his eyes. "Yep." I responded. "Pretty damn shitty." I continued as I looked down, a small grin coming across my face because of Dallas's question.

"Anyways, she only gets drunk when she's angry or sad, so I assume that's why. Because I yelled at her, told her I wouldn't go." I restated. He took a deep breath at every word I spoke, as if he faced similar problems with his parents. "Why do our parents have to be such asses?" He asked blatantly. I laughed at his comment, understanding his words completely. "Guess the world just doesn't like us." I answered. "Guess so." He said, turning to his side in order to face me.

"I don't think it's your fault. Sounds more like it's your moms fault, or your dads." He reassured me. I smiled as I gave him a peck on his cheek. "Thanks Dal." I said, combing my hand through his thick hair. "No problem doll." He stated. His words and caring demeanor comforted me, but I was still sad about the lost of my best friend and sister, I knew that'd probably take awhile to cease.