The Chosen.

What Are We Doing?

I sit awkwardly in the silence trying to pee with Tom right outside the bathroom stall. Eventually i sigh relieved as i finally let go of the pee i've been storing in my tiny bladder for hours. I didn't want to leave Bills side and hadn't realized i had been in dire need for a bathroom break. I emerge from the stall and wash my hands in the sink, looking into the mirror i can see him staring at me. I decide that if i acknowledge it, it becomes real so i decide to keep my mouth shut. I turn to leave the bathroom before anything between us can happen and Tom reaches for my hand before i can open the door.

My heart patters in my chest, longing for his touch and excited that i finally got it. But i yank my hand back, i can no longer do this to Bill. I can no longer do this to myself, the guilt is eating me up inside and i constantly feel disgusting about myself. As if being chased by this thing wasn't enough, i'm caught in the middle of all this... caught in the middle of my own feelings.

"Stop Tom."

"June please." he whispers softly begging me, picking up my hand yet again

"We can't do this to Bill." I say but i choke on half of my own words

"I know... " He murmurs letting go of my hand, looking at the black and white tile floor. My heart aches at the release of his tender grasp on my hand. With out realizing i take a step towards him but instantly catch myself stopping in place. He's startled at my movement towards him, it was like me finally admitting something to him that he knew all along.

I reach up, my hand placing itself on his forearm caressing it softly, my fingers feeling his soft skin. A tear that has been building up finally breaks free from its restraint of my eyelids and falls lightly down my cheek. He reaches up with the arm i hold and slides it on the back of my neck and gently touches his lips to my forehead.

"What are we doing?" I whisper to him in our embrace

"I don't know, but i can't help myself." He slides his hand up to my jaw bringing my lips towards his, i shut my eyes and start to let myself fade into his scent. Suddenly, a flash of Bill collapsed on the ground, makeup streaming down his face runs through my mind. I tear myself away from Tom, dragging his arm from behind my neck.

"I can't. I'm sorry." i murmur before running out of the bathroom leaving him all alone with the intensity of both of our emotions.