The days seem to blur together now, it's hard to differentiate between one to the next. I rarely ever leave my spot from the bed and i sleep most the days and nights. Every time i am awake, all i can manage to do is grieve and hurl my guts up so sleep is my only escape from reality. My hair has tangled into massive knots as i bury my head farther and farther into the pillow each passing day. When i manage to keep my weak eyes awake i sometimes twist the ends of my hair reminding me of Tom's dreads i love so much.
I hardly ever see Tom at all anymore. I don't know where he disappears to but frankly i'm too tired to care. I sometimes catch a glimpse of him when he turns up again at night to sleep with us for safety reasons. The sounds of everyones collective breaths during their slumber is one of the only things that has given me a sense of peace since my heart left.
Mia likes to whisper in my ear and tell me every detail about the days that i have missed but listening has become such a burden, i honestly just lie there. She has become so patient and kind with me, taking care of me any way she possibly can. She feeds me, changes my clothes, wipes my tears, and holds me when i break. I can't help but to think of what an amazing mother she could possibly be one day.
Zeke talks about moving on to North Carolina, but they know we won't get anywhere in my fragile state. I'm a burden, i know i am, i just can't bring myself to have the inevitable conversation of just leaving me behind.
I made the conscious decision to live for Bill, but that hasn't ceased my thoughts of yearning to die. Every waking moment with out my other half feels like physical torture, i am almost jealous of his death because he no longer feels. It makes me physically sick and i am now unable to keep food down majority of the time. Weight is flying off of me like i can afford it. The others constantly walk on edge, afraid the thing that took him from me lurks around the corner. I however, could not care less if it finds me, to slit my throat the way it did Bill's would just make me feel closer to him again. Every aching moment i am awake i wish It would come and massacre me how it did the love of my life.
YOU ARE READING
The Chosen.
أدب الهواةAfter a traumatic experience her senior year of high school and a very unsuccessful freshman year of college, June is determined to make her sophomore year the best one yet. Her eccentric and personable roommate Sloane pulls June from the comfort of...
