The Chosen.

For Him

I throw myself into the white untouched bed, my clothes still glued to my body with blood. I feel pressure built behind my eyes from crying so hard. I can't stop picturing the open gash across his fragile little neck. That was no knife wound, it was jagged and macerated, as if he was clawed. 

"June we need to get you in some fresh clothes." Mia tugs at my sleeves trying to pull me from the bed. I look around realizing everyone is now in the room, in my haze i never even knew they had came in. Instinctually, i pull my arms back but hesitate once i feel the dried blood tugging at my skin. 

Leading me into the bathroom, she undresses me setting my clothes on the counter. I face myself in the mirror, the empty shell of the girl i once was stares back at me. After running me some warm water Mia helps me wash my body, making me remember the night Bill did the same. Tears fall from my eyes disguising theirselves in the droplets from the shower. My mind flashes to how his hair would fall over his face and his eyes would peak through the gaps. I grasp my chest in pain, remembering the love of my life. I watch the dark red, brown blood mix with water and circle around the drain, the last bit of him i have... leaving me.

After dressing me in some of Bill's clothes, Mia tucks me back into bed. I notice the sheets have been changed, one of the boys must have done it. I lay my head on the pillow, bringing my arms to my face to smell his scent stuck on the sleeves of his jacket. My eye catches the silver of my bracelet. I trace the little hearts with my finger feeling the cool touch of the metal. I remember his laugh so vividly, and then i remember the promise this bracelet meant, 

"A promise that i will always treat you with kindness and respect, a promise that i will never leave your side, a promise that i will always love you like you deserve to be loved."

If i can't die for him, i guess living for him will have to suffice.