The Chosen.

Nothing!

"Why didn't you tell us about this sooner?" i ask Mia as our vehicle travels quickly down the long narrow road.

"I kind of just forgot about it... I used to go to therapy there after my NDE when i was younger, my parents wanted to get me help after my dreams started. It slipped my mind until the shopping malls hallways made me think of the hospital, they're really similar. I honestly can't believe i didn't think of it sooner." she says casually rummaging through a bag of snacks in the floor board of the vehicle.

"I mean chances are the doctors who haven't had near deaths will be gone, but hopefully someone like us will have the same idea as us."

"Yeah i agree with Zeke, but if there are no doctors how useful could the place really be?" Bill murmurs from the front seat but turning around to face us

"It's the closest thing to an answer we have so far, i say we take the chance." I add looking at Mia, my eyes skimming over Tom to look at his brother. I suddenly shake my head away from my boyfriend, sometimes if i catch his face just right, he looks exactly like Tom. Which of course isn't surprising, considering they're identical twins but it still catches me off guard and feels like it breaks my heart all over again.

I bite the skin around my nails, i assume i'm anxious but i can't tell exactly what over. Could it be the infinite number of possibilities of things that could happen to us in North Carolina? Or could it be the fact that i'm breaking my own heart over Tom at a chance of happiness with Bill? Or maybe it's the fact that i live in a post apocalyptic still life with all my friends and family missing.

Tom's been awfully quiet today and i've been very worried about him even though i refuse to show it. The normally bubbly, smart ass boy i've come to adore sits with dark circles around his eyes and runs his fingers around his dreads seemingly soothing himself.

I can't help but feel guilty for causing his pain but honestly I'm damned if i do and i'm damned if i don't in this situation. This has to be it for Tom and I, we both need to move on. I hope we can be cordial for Bill's sake, but knowing him i feel like he won't let it go so easily. I stare out the window at the auburn and honey colored sky as the sun sets in the distance. I feel the tears pleading to fall but i quickly wipe my eyes in hopes of no one seeing them. I hate how emotional i've been since the world ended, ever since my experience my senior year i've been basically devoid of all feelings. My emotions have seemed to catch up with me now. Like they had been searching this whole time and now i am in it's strong grasp, it's sharp claws sinking into my fragility.

"What's wrong?" asks Bill from the front seat as he looks at me in the rear view mirror. I can feel the comprehensive stare of everyone in the car too. Fuck, i've been caught. Did he see me wipe my tears? I doubt it. Bill and I have this incredibly deep connection and i feel like he knows me so well he just silently perceives me for all that i am.

"Nothing." i try to give a little smile but to have Tom's gaze again makes me want to scream into the silence of the car. Why does this hurt so fucking much?

"June?" Bill jerks his head around talking to me more sternly now, almost demanding i tell him whats the matter.

"Nothing!" I yell, surprising even myself. The silence in the car is now deafening. I hate myself for yelling at Bill, i can feel a sob starting to well up in my throat. I don't even understand why i yelled at him, i'm just so agitated. Bill is always so sweet and gentle to me, and to yell at him like that is just so fucking wrong. His eyes fall from me and he turns around wrapping his arms around his chest. I turn back to the empty fields we pass by and let the tears quietly fall from my eyes. I'm so tired of holding back.