The Chosen.

Fiery Little Bitch

"Well, come on." I saunter making my way back inside the sliding glass doors of the hotel, Tom's foot steps chasing in a patter right behind me. I've given up on trying to force him to get better. He is going to make his own decisions regardless of what i think or feel. I know he is going to be drinking with or with out me. I decide he shouldn't be the only one letting loose.

"Where are we going?" 

"Might as well make a night of it." I mention as i throw myself up on the bar to reach the glass bottles as they ornate the large wooden shelving. 

"Vodka?" i ask staring back down at him from my stance on the bar. He nods accordingly so i pass the heavy bottle down setting it delicately in his grasp.

"Here." I pass him another bottle for me to drink.

"Ew. Really?" he asks, reading the shiny label of the tequila bottle

"Mhm." i rip the black pouring spout from the top of my bottle taking a big swig. It burns down my esophagus sending a chill through out my body. I understand Tom's struggle with alcohol, i really do. I love the way it makes me feel. I could see how chasing that feeling could get out of hand.

"Cheers" i clink our bottles roughly together as i lie my head back on the lounger looking up to the sky. There's hardly ever clouds here at night leaving us a perfect view of the stars once again. The bright white dots peppered beautifully across the dark night sky makes me think of Bill's hair. He was the most stunning person i had ever seen, or probably will see in my entire life. 

"Did you love him?" 

"Yeah." i whisper afraid my emotions will hear me talk of him and invite theirselves to our little party. A few moments of silence pass us by,

"More than anyone i've ever met."

"Me too." we take another sip of our sharply burning drinks

"Where do you think Zeke and Mia are?" i ask realizing they never came back

"Probably fucking." 

"What? No way?"

"Yeah, they have been for a while. They think they're hiding it from me." He laughs with his tongue between his teeth, making my heart drop in my chest. I quickly look away before my mind can wander anywhere closer to that idea.

I honestly expected him to be more affected by Mia's betrayal, but he seems to encourage the idea. The way things seemed i anticipated them to be a lot closer than they actually ended up being. 

"You don't care?" i ask

"Nah. No girl is worth fighting over, plus she was getting on my nerves."

I bite my tongue between my teeth, i can't help but to feel he is talking about me.

"What does that mean?" i ask bitterly, the alcohol giving my mouth permission that my brain did not

"Means what i said."

"Okay Tom."

"What? You wanted me and Bill to fight over you?" he asks with a chuckle in his mouth.

"You know that's not what i wanted." i bark back at him, my gaze now breaking from the sky to meet his. He always knows how to light a fire in me. I think he loves to see the reaction he can pull from me.

"Then what June!?" 

"Nothing! It was just how you insinuated i'm not worth it!!" i yell raising myself to sit up in my chair, the liquor ready for a full on argument.

"God, you're so fucking confusing. One minute you want me to never talk to you again the next you're mad i didn't fight for you. Like fuck!" he rolls his eyes at me, bringing his hands in front of him.

"I wanted to be with you Tom i just couldn't! I wish things went differently I do!" i feel tears welling up in my eyes. He doesn't understand i only pushed myself away from him because i felt so strongly for him.

"But you never told me June. I didn't know you wanted anything to do with me!"

"There was nothing to tell, I couldn't do that to Bill." i mutter trying to deescalate the situation before it becomes something neither of us can handle

"But what about me!? BUT WHAT ABOUT ME!?" he screams in my face stepping towards me, sending his chair flying back against the concrete.

"I LOVED YOU. I LOVED YOU MORE THAN I LOVED MYSELF. I HAD TO STAY WHERE MY LOYALTY LAID FOR HIS SAKE. BUT I THOUGHT OF YOU EVERY SINGLE WAKING MOMENT, I FELT YOUR PRESENCE IN MY BONES. MY HEART YEARNED FOR YOUR TOUCH, MY LIPS DESPERATE TO BE AGAINST YOURS. I LOVED YOU TOM." I sob as my fists beat against his chest.

"Don't lie to me." He shoves me to the ground, sending the bottle flying out of my hand shattering against the concrete. I stand to approach to him again but he turns away from me, cowardly walking away. Refusing to let him go so easily after laying his hands on me, i grab a fist full of his brown and blonde dreads giving my arm a yank. 

"What the fuck!?" he swoops his body around swinging his arms as his fist connects with my eye. My hands let go of his long hair and reach to my face to try to soothe the swelling i can already feel appearing.

"Don't touch me!" he screams angrily into my hands that cover my rapidly bruising face. Before he can pull away, my left hand again, grabs a fist full of dreads while my right hand lays a punch into the side of his strong jaw line. I scream out in agony from the pain sent through my arm, who knew punching someone would hurt so bad?

Tom grabs my wrists in his strong hands before sweeping his leg behind mine, swinging me into the ground. I grunt as my back slaps against the hard ground forcing all the air out of my lungs. My head thuds against the sidewalk, sending stars dancing in my vision. Never in my life have i been violent, especially to someone i care so deeply for. My hands shake from the adrenaline, this concept of hurting someone you love being so foreign to me.

Leaning his big shoulders over me, he lowers his face just an inch or two from mine.

"Fiery little bitch, huh?" his eyes look at mine with an intensity i've never seen from him before. For the first time, i realize i am actually scared of him.

"Tom, get off of me." I cry the tears streaming down the side of my face, soaking into my dark hair 

"Oh, so you just want to hit me with no consequences?" his knee now digging into my thighs making me squirm from the discomfort. My wrists have become numb from the grip he has on them between his white colored knuckles

"Leave me alone!" I cry out feeling his breath against my cheek

"I thought you loved me?" He chuckles against my lips

"I do!" I scream out confused at myself for what i am admitting. I've never been so scared of a person in my entire life, yet here i am confessing my love for the boy who hurts me. The tears still flow from my big blue eyes but i can't help to feel a warmness rising in my stomach from the sensation of his body pressed against mine. His laughter starts to shake against me, forcing my eyes open to look at his beautiful face once again

"Say it." He whispers into my ear, digging his elbow into my side. I let out a little whimper at the sharp pain, but push my chest into his, longing for more. His eyes flicker open at the realization, this is turning me on. Letting go of my wrists, he wraps my long black hair around his hand a few times before yanking it towards himself.

"Say it June. Say you love me." He grits through his smiling teeth as i wriggle in pain crushed by his heavy stature. 

"I love you." i whisper softly.