Mafia's Girl

Part 36

Sidharth's P.O.V. 

I was overwhelmed a lot of times this evening. My feelings were confused more when Shehnaaz kissed me and although it was the best thing ever for me, I had to keep reminding myself that she isn't meant for me. Perhaps she is just falling a little weak and forgetting about Aditya but he is the one for her. He is her first choice and her best choice. He is everything she wanted in someone whereas I am just a gangster, a dangerous mafia who always gets her in danger. If she remains with me she will have to go through a lot more pain in the future and although I will be with her all through it, I can't imagine myself being the reason she always has to be cautious and scared. I was very close to confessing my feelings for her also but when I caught back my senses, again I realised I was about to make the same mistake. I had to leave her and went to get drunk in my frustration. I can't keep away from her any longer. I want her all to myself but I cannot be selfish also. She deserves the best and as much as I wish I was the one for her, I am not. But, I will always love her. Even if I can't be with her, I will continue to love her and protect her. As much pain as it will bring to me seeing her with someone else, I will have to endure it if it makes her happy. And I cannot confuse her again so, I have to keep a little distance from her physically and emotionally. As I laid, silently on the sofa in her room, filled with her sweet scent, I felt so much peace. Only she had the power to calm me down and I felt completely secure with her. She is the first girl I allowed to come into my space and question me, correct me and exercise rights over me. If this isn't love, then I don't know what else is.

Shehnaaz's P.O.V. 

I looked at Sidharth, lost in his thoughts as he stared at the ceiling. I had a long sleep during the day so I wasn't sleepy anymore. I couldn't help but to think about him and my changing feelings for him. Could this be love? Why don't I feel like this when I'm around Aditya? The only person who can ignite such feelings in me is Sidharth. I thought back at the description I gave to Meeta about my ideal guy and compared everything to both Sidharth and Aditya. "The kind of guy that every girl dreams of. He must be independent but not stop me from being too. He must be equally as responsible for taking care of the house and children. The kind of guy that thinks what can he do to make his girl happy and will do anything to fix a foul mood and make me smile. He has to be caring and loving. He has to love me the most in the world. He has to be respectful and decent. He has to have trust and loyalty. If a single tear comes in my eyes, he will wipe it away. He has to be extraordinarily normal," I remembered myself saying. Sidharth ticked all the boxes but Aditya failed to. The one difference was that Sidharth wasn't extraordinarily normal. He was rather, extraordinarily extraordinary. Could this mean that Sidharth is the one for me? Am I in love with him? I looked at him with my confusion for a very long time. He had fallen asleep and I was still staring at him. I felt an immense amount of love and respect for him, for everything he ever did for me. I am willing to go against the world for him. I am willing to lay my own life for him. I want to fix everything in his life and take away all of his sorrows. I only want him to be happy and I want to be with him in that happiness. He makes me believe everyday that I am worthy of love and friendship. He stood with me when everyone, even my own, were against me and he still does it. I can be however low and self hating towards myself but he lifts me up. I saw the extent to which he can go for me and most importantly, I don't feel as safe with anyone else as I feel with him. Maybe, I am in love with him. Maybe, I do want to spend the rest of my life with him. Just the mere thought of being with him in a romantic relationship made me blush profusely as I hugged a pillow and tried not to squeal loudly in my excitement. If this isn't love, then I don't know what else is. Yes, I am in love with him! I am in love with Sidharth and I couldn't wait to tell him this because after that, I am going to keep him in my arms for the rest of this life.

The next morning, he opened his eyes and looked around the room, stretching his arms out. I didn't sleep for a single moment and spent the entire night admiring him. He looked at me and I smiled. He sat up and held his temple, closing his eyes tightly. I sat up on the bed. "Good morning," I said, smiling. "Good morning," he said with his eyes shut. Out of the blue, I started blushing as I stole my eyes away from him. "Are you okay?" He asked. I nodded. "Why is your face so red this early in the morning?" He asked. "I will be like this a bit more often now," I said. "What do you mean?" He asked, holding his head and hissing in pain. Without thinking too much, I jumped out of the bed and ran to him. "Hey! Be careful! You are not supposed to put pressure on your feet," he said. I bit my tongue and said, "I forgot." "Are you okay?" He asked again with narrowed eyes. "I am. I have never been better to be honest," I said, looking into his eyes with intensity growing. "I'll go and get ready and meet you back in a while," he said, getting up. "Me too," I said and stood up behind him. He wrapped his around my waist and held onto me tightly. This sudden action left me stunned and confused for a minute. My heart raced as I felt his body against mine. "You aren't supposed to put pressure on your feet. I told you just a minute ago," he said, scolding me. I continued smiling like crazy as I enjoyed him scolding me also. "I forgot," I said. "This isn't a joke so stop grinning," he said, sternly. "I'm just feeling to smile so I am smiling," I said, holding onto his shoulders, "Isn't this morning seeming a little more special? Everything seems beautiful today." He looked at me confused and made me sit down back on the bed. My smile still didn't lessen. "I am going to bathe and get ready. Until I don't return, don't move from here, do you understand?" He warned, pointing me. "Okies," I said, showing my teeth, cutely grinning. He looked so perplexed at my behaviour that I wanted to tease him even more.

I looked at him leaving the room and shook my head, chuckling behind his back. "I love him!" I said, blushing to myself and beating my hands against the mattress in excitement, squealing happily. I stopped all of a sudden and asked myself, "How am I going to break this news to him? How am I going to confess?" I bit my nails, nervously as I frowned. I am not in the best form right now to do anything special because of my feet and I don't want to tell him without doing anything special. I want him to remember this moment forever. As I was sitting, lost in my own thoughts, he came back into the room all dressed and looking like a Greek God standing in front of me. My jaw dropped, literally as my heart stopped for a second. I couldn't control my eyelids and wasn't finding myself able to blink. He sat next to me and pushed my lower jaw up, closing my mouth. "I know I am good looking but you don't ever stare at me like this," he said. "I never felt like this before also," I said, softly. "Sorry?" He said. "Nothing," I said, looking away embarrassed. He took his phone out and gave it to me. "Aditya was calling for you," he said, looking away from me. I frowned. Realisation dawned on me as I remembered Aditya. I have to tell him about my feelings for Sidharth now. I can't deceive him like this. It's his right to know that I love Sidharth. I took the phone from him, awkwardly and dialled Aditya's number. Sidharth was about to get up when I held back his hand and kept it in my grip. "Hello, Sidharth," Aditya answered. "It's me," I said. "Shehnu," he said, surprised and worried, "Are you alright? Where were you? And what happened?" "I...." I started but stopped and looked at Sidharth. He looked visibly a bit disturbed as he forcibly removed his hand from mine and got up and left me frowning behind, sadly.

"Are you going to answer me?" He asked. "I have to meet you and talk," I said. "Me too. I have some things to tell you as well," he said. "Let's meet today then," I said. "Will Sidharth let you leave his house?" He asked, scoffing. "You can come. I will talk to him," I said. "I don't want him thinking I am invading his house like some unwanted guest just meet you," he said. "Why do you think he will think like that?" I said. "Just a thought," he said. "You haven't understand Sidharth," I said. "Oh! And you have very well in the past few days, right?" He said, annoyed. "Where are you trying to take this?" I asked, getting frustrated. "I'm sorry, I don't want to fight and argue with you. Let's just meet and I promise everything will be perfect after that. We will talk things out," he said. "Hmmm....okay," I said. I hung up the phone, still a bit annoyed at the manner he was talking in. A few minutes past by and Sidharth re-entered the room. He took his phone from on the bed and said, "Come, I'll take you to the bathroom." He stretched his hand out and I looked at it a bit taken aback. I thought he would pick me up like he always did. I held onto his hand, nonetheless and he led me to the bathroom. I sat on the same plastic chair and took my bath. When I was finished, I wore the bathrobe and called out to him but there was no response. I called a second and third time but still, I didn't get any response. With the little bit of frustration I already had from Aditya, I started to get irritated with Sidharth as well. "If he knew he wasn't going to wait for me, he could have just said so," I said, gritting my teeth. I got up, slowly from the chair and was making my way back to the room, holding onto the wall for support. Just as I reached the door, it opened and Sidharth looked at me with a long face. "What did I tell you? Can't you listen for once?" He scolded me. "I don't have to listen to you since you don't listen to me," I said. 

I past him at the door and made my way back to my bed on my own. Reaching there, I sat, holding my feet, in pain. He came and kneeled down in front of me. "I was on a call outside and I didn't hear you calling out to me," he said, frowning, as he took my foot in his hands. "No thanks," I said, pulling it away, "I don't need your fake sympathy. I know that I am living in your house and you have no other choice but I don't want anyone's pity." "Where is all of this coming from?" He asked. What I am doing? I am taking out my anger and frustration on him! This is wrong. I closed my eyes, sighing heavily as I said, "I think I just need some time alone. I am feeling very irritated at the moment and if you remain in front of me, I will tell you something hurtful which I won't mean." "I understand then," he said, getting up. He left the room without another word and I cursed myself under my breath for treating him and speaking to him so rudely. "I will make it up to you. Once I tell you how much you mean to me and how much I love you, I know you will be happy," I said. 

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Hey guys! I hope you enjoyed that update! Finally, Shehnaaz's love realisation is here! Please vote, comment and share my story! Until we meet again! Bye!