KotLC if Sophie was a Delinquent Badass

Thoughts on Rainbows?

Yeah, I'm so grounded.

On the bright side, there was no screaming match; everyone was already fucking exhausted from worrying about where I was. Which, in my humble opinion was super ironic because-

Well, maybe I should stop there before I say something disrespectful out of rage.

Don't make decisions on an empty stomach kids.

After Dex had so obviously called me out in front of several of the people closest to me, he, Kesler and Juline had to head home 'before the triplets wrecked the place'. Of course my first reaction was "Triplets?" and the atmosphere tensed for a hot second.

That was before they realised who they were dealing with and came to the conclusion that I could not give less of a fuck about the time of their births and was actually shocked by the number of kids poor Juline had.

Someone please give this... elf a reward for having the most patience of everyone in the world.

Like I said, I was grounded. No going out other than Foxfire and back. But nothing will stop me from maintaining healthy relationships!

And that leaves us at me and Tam having a dumping session, while Linh was surely shaking her head out of screen.

"If you'd met him you'd get it, I'm serious," he was complaining about a dinner his parents had with some other kid's parents a million (seven) years ago. Linh was unfortunately not present or he'd be complaining a little less about the other family's kid. "He talked so much and kept asking me questions and running. That much energy isn't real."

"Tam, it's been half an hour of you spouting about this kid. At first it was amusing but now your little gay tantrum is getting stale and I need new information."

"I'm not gay, Sophie," he yawned.

"Sure, Jan. Do you remember his name?"

"Suddenly, I don't want to talk about this anymore. Why don't you tell Linh about your thing with that noble girl," he suggested ignoring Linh's violent protests. "She's been dying to know."

"Oh, my fucking god, you're a Gossip Girl." I groaned. "I'm not into Biana."

"I'm gonna pretend to know what a Gossip Girl is but I don't think it's a compliment so I'm going to deny it. Also everything you've said about her says otherwise. You've been acting like she's cheating on you."

"It feels like she's cheating on me, Tam. With Maruca."

"You don't know her."

"We had a moment!"

Linh laughed in the background before popping up in the frame. "It's time for bed, guys."

"Okay, Mom." I said with an exaggerated frown as Tam rolled his eyes. "I'm gonna start crying, Linh, it's been such a lame weekend." At this, Marty made his way onto my pillow like he was trying to throw shade at me for saying all the quality time we spent together was boring.

"You're only grounded for a week, Sophie. And that's only because they actually think you forgot about leaping crystals."

"It's a believable lie," I defended myself.

"You have a photographic memory."

"Can I say this is the longest phone call I've ever had?"

"Go to sleep," Tam said, leaving the frame. Linh took the phone and waved.

"Sweet dreams," she said and hung up. I rolled over on the bed, far from tired and very much dreading school in four hours.

---

"Forgot about leaping?" Dex was cackling when I met him at our lockers. Cackling meaning full on teary eyes, stomach clutching laughs at my expense. When I said today would suck ass, I mean Dex will never let me live down this dumbass lie.

I just hope Keefe never finds out.

Dex wiped his eyes, his cruel laughter finally subsiding. "What were you actually doing?"

"Searching for mole people," I said, closing my locker. Elwin picked the flavour today and I don't think I'll ever recover. "I figured if I were to find any it'd be in the backyard of a place named after a fungus."

Dex raised an eyebrow. "Well, did you find any?"

"Wait, they actually exist?"

"Of course, not. What the hell is a mole person?" He shook his head. "Nevermind, are you going to tell me what you were actually doing?"

"I dunno, Dex. Every time I think about it, I feel a little sick." Dex's face fell and I was already regretting being honest.

"Did something happen?" He asked, seriously. Just then the bells chimed. "We're skipping and you're telling me what's wrong," he said.

"Since when were you the poster child for delinquency? Oh, I bet Keefe is squirming right now," I teased him with a grin. Dex complained about changing his mind as I pulled him down the hall, away from our sessions and vaguely in the direction of the healing center.

"Gonna tell me, or wait 'til Elwin can interrogate you?"

"Fine I'll talk, but I'm in no way gonna take this seriously. There's going to be a lot of cursing, comparisons and Adventure Time lingo," I warned him.

"I'm used to it. Stop stalling."

So I spill my guts so Dex. Other than the mental overload from being being stuck between laughing at myself and crying my eyes out, I'd say I held it together pretty well.

"So, I said, 'Bro, we all got our chops busted by the government so let's be best friends'. Spilled my shit to them-and I'll have you know Linh is like the most calming person to be around! I think I didn't swear for that entire conversation."

"And that's actually the most shocking fact about this whole thing." He paused. "So you didn't forget that you can to leap."

"Get your priorities straight, Dex, we're not gonna be pseudo-cousins anymore. I'm going to starve to death because I'm no longer entitled to your mother's Cinnacreme and become a fucking felon trying to steal her recipe, get sent to Exillium, start a riot over how shitty I'm sure the treat that school and roll up to be an evil fucking overlord because I'm clinically overpowered and tired of being fucked over! Don't you get that?"

"Okay, calm the fuck down," Dex said staring at me like I told him the Krabby Patty secret formula. We'd stopped walking for a minute now and hallways were a ghost town. "None of that is going to happen. Grady and Edaline are probably just having a little doubt but it's not like they already signed the scroll."

"You might have a point," I sighed. I was still trying to catch my breath after that freestyle. "This would also be my third time being an orphan."

"Soph-"

"It's kind of metal."

"You got over that really quickly."

"I'm not over anything. I'm just stating observations."

"Sophie, we're not late."

"Huh?"

"Your session," he said pointing at the door and looking much too satisfied with himself.

"You manipulative, little bitch," I gasped and opened the door to hell.