One Letter Two Words

Chapter 13

Shit. Shit shit shit. I just kissed Felix! Felix kissed me! I borderline made out with him. Felix. The Felix Lee. This is not how today was supposed to go. What the fuck is wrong with me. Why did I do that, why the fuck did I lean into it. Why did I like it, why did I not want to stop, why did I not want him to stop. Ahhh this is too much I need a cold shower or something. 

You lean on the back of the door you pulse racing, there was a sudden knock startling you as if you weren't on edge already. 

"Grace are you ok?" You hear Jeongin say as his voice grows with concern. 

"Yeah I'm great!" You politely yell through the door quickly pacing back and forth still trying to figure out what to do. 

"It's just you ran straight past us and didn't say hi."

"Sorry I um... I just need to take a bath that's all, get the day off me."

"Right... Well if you need to talk I'm a great listener."

"Thanks, I think I'll just take a bath though."

"Ok well if you need anything let me know, Hyunjin hyung has amazing bath bombs and soap." You hear his footsteps start to disappear down the hallway as you exhale a deep breath you didn't know you were holding in. 

Yeah definitely a bath a shower isn't gonna be enough. 

As you step into the bathroom you pull of a note from the mirror you missed earlier. 

'Can't wait to have an amazing day with you. I know you'll love it~ :P'

Gosh he's still cute. Ah stop thinking about it. 

You put the note down and bang your head on the mirror a few times trying to get rid of the image that's burning in the back of your skull. As you go to run a bath you hear your phone ding multiple times.

Unknown
Its Felix
Can we talk please?
Are you safe at least?
I really worried something happened
Please lets just talk...
*read*

You feel worse then you already do when you read his messages, just staring at the screen not knowing what to say or how to respond, your not sure how long you've been staring but the sudden knock on the bathroom door snapped you put of whatever daze you were in. You turned on the taps to drown out the sound praying whoever it is will leave you alone, you couldn't deal with this right now you needed to think, are you even in your right mind to think? How can you face him what would he say, even thinking about the look on his face made you feel guilty you didn't want to hurt him but you knew you did. You knew the smile dropped from his face as you turned your back on him, for the longest time you wanted him to feel the way you felt, but not anymore, you just wanted to stay in that moment, you didn't want to hurt him.

Why can't you face him, just look him in those beautiful brown eyes of his and tell him what you've been feeling, did you even know what you were feeling, it was all to confusing, were they old emotions are new. A few weeks ago you would have slapped him if he did that, maybe even shoved him through the window, no before that you would have refused to even go out with him. So why, why was it so different, why did you want to continue whatever it was that you two had, it made you feel special, wanted, it was something you longed for. 

"Grace its Felix, I know you're in there." He took a deep sigh before speaking again, his voice went from panicked to soft and gentle, as he heard your steps becoming less frantic. "I'm glad your home safe. I was really worried something happened to you, especially since you don't know the city or were your going or anything. I didn't mean to freak you out I know it must have been a bit overwhelming for you, it was for me to it wasn't something I planned or was expecting to happen. I didn't mean to kiss you..."