One Letter Two Words

Chapter 27

The sea breeze died, a silence surrounded the two of you a calm before the storm, what could you say, how could you respond. Your thoughts were going so fast you couldn't even keep up how where you meant to process it all. 

"You love me?" It's the only thing you manage to stutter out, the utter shock of all the information, that's the only thing you could say, the only thing you managed to say. Was it a joke? The only thought that managed to stand out, it had to be a joke right.

"Is that the only thing you heard?" He asks chuckling out of nervousness waiting for some sort of answer, some response to ease the tension, to know that you listened.

The clouds that where white only a few hours ago are now as pitch black as the night sky, covering everything in the sky, the waves crashing down harder into the sand taking away anything within its reach as the wind picked back up blowing everything with it. 

"Are you serious? That's the dumbest excuse I've ever heard come out of anyone's month, you did that to me because of something someone said to you! What my birth giver said? A person who doesn't even love me? A person who hates me. Someone I can no longer call my mother, someone who doesn't call me her own daughter just leaves me alone just like you did! You believed that person over me! Your best friend! Who shared everything with you, except the one thing that when she finally after years of gathering the courage told you only to be laughed at because of something my mother said to you! Are you kidding me right now, is this another joke! Am I just some joke to you, you love me that's so ridiculous, I got one letter and two words for you. I. Hate. You. I hate you Lee Felix." You could feel it, all the anger you bottle up exploding in one go, everything you kept deep down and hidden was about to come out. 

"I hate every single thing about you. I hate the way you got to prosper in life while I suffered. I hate what you did to me. I hate the nightmares you gave me, I hate how I can't escape you even in my dreams, I hate how you were flirting with that girl, I hate how I'm always thinking of you no matter how hard I try not to. I hate your idiotic smile and how it makes me want to smile with you, I hate how silly and goofy you are that it makes me laugh, I hate how contagious your laugh is that I can't help but join in, I hate how when you do laugh you close one of your eyes, I hate how comforting and beautiful it is that I never want it to stop, that I want it to be the last sound I ever hear. I hate how calm, warm and soothing your voice is that, I hate that I could listen to you for days and never get bored.

I hate the way your stupid soft hair is so damn fluffy and is always perfect no matter what the weather is. I hate the way how smooth your skin is, I hate how perfectly lined and symmetrical your eyebrows are, I hate how perfect and rock solid your abs are seriously how did you do that. I hate how your eyelashes are prettier than mine, I hate the way your eyes shine when your happy, I hate the way I get lost in the beauty of them, I hate I could stare at them forever. I hate how perfect your stupid freckles are and how they perfectly spread across your face, I hate the way you scrunch your nose when you smile and it causes tiny lines, almost dimples next to your eyes, I hate how adorable you look in glasses.

I hate the way you make me feel safe, I hate the way you hold me when I'm scared, I hate the way you being near me calms me down, I hate the way you drawn lines on the back of my hand or in my palm with your fingers and stroke my hair when I can't sleep or to calm me down when I feel anxious or overwhelmed. I hate the way you stay with me till I fall asleep, I hate the way how perfect you are when you sleep, how your perfect little chest moves up and down when you breath. I hate the way you just sit there and listen to me and let me rant to you whether its important or not, I hate they way you support me and tell me everything will be alright, I hate the way you tell me we can get through this together, I hate the way you tell me I'm not alone. I hate the way you hold me close to you so I can hear your heartbeat, I hate how warm and reassuring your hugs are, I hate the way I never want to leave your arms.