Maybe, maybe not

Chapter 16

We both focus more on eating than on each other, which is a good thing if you ask me.

Arguments are inevitable if we continue pretending we're cool with each other. And I'll hate to further prove his point by getting angry.

"Daniella" he calls my full name, which is very unusual
I assume it's time to actually talk, the real reason he called me out tonight.

We had finished eating about ten minutes ago but we both sat still, not saying or doing anything.
I was preparing to tell him I was leaving soon. This whole night turned out to be pointless.

I haven't said anything in so long it feels like I lost my voice. I look at him, my eyes telling him to continue what he's about to say

"We need to talk, that's why i asked you to come here" obviously.

"I know" I say in the most polite way I can.

He sighs, it's very silent but I notice it. He's prepping himself for what I'm very sure is another apology speech.

"I know it's me who broke up with you because I told you I couldn't handle your different personalities and I know I hurt you with the things I said but I am sorry, sincerely" he stops for a while and then looks at me."I've loved you from the very first time I saw you, even before I had a proper conversation with you. And I don't think I'll ever stop loving you, Daniella" he stops again but he doesn't break eye contact "I am very sorry about Hannah, she was a mistake, the baby was a mistake. I never wanted any of it. It's you i want, you're all I want Dani. Please give me a chance to prove it to you. Allow me in your life one more time. Let me love you, please"

'Sam is anything but a liar' I keep telling myself.

I wanted this to happen and now that its actually happening I don't know how to feel about it, or what to say.

I give a small reassuring smile "Sam, I love you too" He smiles back at me, relieved
"but I don't know if we can make it work" his smile dies faster than it came. "I want it to, believe me but somethings just can't be fixed" I add remembering David's words 'there's someone else in the picture now'

I can only imagine how Hannah would feel hearing him say these things to me; calling her a mistake, calling her child a mistake.
I love Samson but I don't know if I can be that selfish. He has a girlfriend now, and she's pregnant. It's alot more complicated now.

"If this about your condition, i can help" his tone changes to that of worry "did you see a doctor already? I'm sure there's a solution"

I chuckle, it's a sarcastic kind.
Does he really still have the stupid idea that I need psychiatric help or something?

"You're not going to give up on this? You really think I'm mad?" I try to be reasonable and not cause a scene

"Not mad, baby. Mental illnesses aren't necessarily madness, could be a personality disorder, or maybe just anger issues, we really can't be sure till you see a doctor"

"I am not your baby" It's so disgusting that's the first thing I think of clarifying.
I stand up preparing to leave, I've taken enough bullshut for one evening, and he stands up too.

"Calm down" he gestures with his hands that I sit but I ignore him "I'm sorry, okay?"

"I think we've spoken enough today, I'm leaving now" I begin to walk out of the resturant fully aware he's following me but I chose not to make a scene.

When we get to a reasonable distance outside the resturant I turn to face him
"What do you want?"

"I've told you a thousand times, I'm just trying to fix things. Can't you see how much I'm into you? I love you and I want to be with you"

If only he hadn't brought up the topic of my being crazy, tonight might have worked.

I continue walking and he keeps following me "Please Dani"

"Goodnight Samson"