Maybe, maybe not

Chapter 23

I don't know where exactly I'm going.

I just keep walking along whichever path my heart tells me to go. I've been silently crying my entire walk here and my vision is a bit blurred by the tears but I keep walking. It takes a moment for me to realize I'm at Jo's Street

I'm not with my phone so I can't call to tell him I'm outside his house and I really hope he's back from work. I knock twice before a smiling Nancy opens the door for me.

Nancy is Jo's wife. We never really got along but there's no beef too. We're more of strangers than enemies.

I smile back at her as I enter and relief washes over me the minute I see my brother coming towards me. "Hey Jo" I manage to say before I become a pool of tears and hug him. Nancy notices the energy so she makes up an excuse before leaving us alone.

Jo guides me to a seat at his dinning table and he sits beside me. He's not panicking and throwing 'what happened' questions at me and i appreciate that. He's looking at me supportively as if telling me everything will be okay.
Why didn't I just come to my brother all this while?

"Do you want some water? Maybe even food" he asks with a smile and I can't help but smile back as I shake my head no.

"Jo, do you think I'm crazy?" I ask. My voice is cracked from all the crying I've done today and i sound horrible but I continue either ways "do you think I need help?"

He holds my hand and looks at me, really looks at me, it feels like he can see through me. "You are not crazy. I don't know what's making you think that way but I know you're not crazy. Don't say that again"

I nod and then I tell him everything that's been happening since Sam and I broke up.
"He said I was crazy and he couldn't keep up with my instability" I tell him about Ana too. "She said the exact same thing, Jo. They are very convinced I'm crazy and I need help"

"You went through alot when you were only a child and you may have not recovered from the trauma but that doesn't make you crazy" he explains "I should have been there with you when mum and dad left us. I should have supported you and Priscy more. I should have been more involved in your life. All of this is my fault. You didn't have to go through all of that on your own"

"I was not a child. I was sixteen and Priscilla is my sister. I did nothing extraordinary taking care of her"

"Are you quoting that bastard rught now?" I don't think I've ever heard Jo curse. "Don't let anyone tell you what you did was nothing because it was everything. You lost your mother and became a mother when you were barely an adult on your own. You were alone for a really long time and you handled all your problems alone. It's enough to make anyone traumatised"

"So you're saying I'm traumatised from something that happened 10 years ago" I pause to chuckle "mum and dad have nothing to do with this. Especially not you"

"You may have a mental health condition, Daniella" he says matter of factly.

"You agree with them. Cause this is just a tush way of saying I'm crazy"

"I should have payed more attention to you" he's talking to himself but I hear him.
"You're adorable and the best human in the world but then there's a push and you begin to violate so many things. I wouldn't say destructive but your actions do destroy things most of the time. Almost killing yourself, crashing into your boyfriend, destroying mums car, beating up your best friend, not to mention the way you talk to people each time you're 'angry' It's a condition and you can fix it"

"I don't know what i'm supposed to do"

"You don't have to do anything. It's a great step that you've at least admitted that somethings wrong. I have a therapist friend that should be able to help. I'll call him first thing tommorow"

"Thank you Jo" I hug him "for being the best brother in the world"