Oh. My. Fate?! (BL, Volume 12, Part 1)

168 His Happiness Reduced

Qiu Ling furrowed his brows. The quality of the material used in the palaces of the Heavenly Emperor and Heavenly Empress could be imagined. Also, that kind of place would definitely be checked regularly for any kind of issue. Just one plank being dilapidated to the point someone as small and light as a two-year-old could break it without that issue ever being noticed before ... it was almost nonexistent. Even more so since Bai Fen certainly wouldn't have taken Jing He on a route that was seldom visited. That just wouldn't happen with how careful and maybe even overly cautious she had been.

Yes, this was indeed a curse. A spell that would magnify the smallest possibilities contained in one's fate and cause them to become reality. And, of course, because this was Tian's revenge for his beloved's cruel fate, the possibilities the curse caught onto were only those with negative consequences.

Qiu Ling closed his eyes when he thought about this further. This had only been the first occasion of many and Jing He had been as young as two years old. Having this happen at such an age ... "He must have been scared." He opened his eyes and looked at Bai Fen even though he didn't actually need to see her expression or hear her say anything.

No, he knew. From the moment he first heard of this curse, he more or less knew. It really wasn't difficult to imagine either. Jing He's personality was ... odd. As the crown prince of the Nine Heavens, he should have been somebody admired by many, someone who was secure in himself and open with others. But look at what the reality was: Jing He liked to hide away and whenever something happened that showed even the smallest possibility of making others dislike him, he was overcome with self-doubt and wracked with guilt.

What was this if not the result of the misfortune and pain he had suffered? Yes, throughout all of this, Jing He's original disposition — whatever it may have been — had certainly become twisted. He couldn't be carefree about anything and had to calculate everything he did to ensure his safety and well-being. Growing up like that, how could he not be affected?

Bai Fen finally sighed. "Of course, he was scared. But what could I do? I tried to calm him down and immediately asked one of the servants to get a heavenly physician. They treated it and with their skills in refinement, naturally, the pain was soon gone. But the memory doesn't immediately disappear with the pain and it is impossible not to be affected."

Qiu Ling nodded. Just as expected, such an experience left a shadow. If it was just one, then it didn't matter much. He'd slowly get over it and in a few days or weeks or maybe months, he'd be ready to get back to normal life. But if those instances added up and one thing happened after another ... who wouldn't start to constantly be scared of yet another bout of misfortune?

Just as expected, Bai Fen's next words confirmed his worry. "At first, he didn't dare to go out any longer. Even if I convinced him to because I knew it was important to not let him wallow in his fear, he would cling to me, not daring to step too far away. He'd hold onto my hand or grab my sleeve and then carefully walk alongside me.

"In a sense, I also felt better this way. The first time, I hadn't been able to help. But if I directly held him, what could happen? Of course, I also knew that this thinking was dangerous. I couldn't chain my child to my side. Maybe it can be done for a few months or even a year or two but ... it's not possible to keep an eye on him and accompany him directly by his side for two millennia. We gods simply age too slowly to give him that kind of safety. Not to mention how much that would stunt his growth."

Qiu Ling nodded. "I suppose he got over it but it happened again."

Bai Fen inclined her head. "It took a few weeks for him to relax but then, he was back to his happy self. You might not be able to imagine that but Jing He was actually really carefree and curious as a small child.

"He loved exploring everything around him. He listened to me seriously introduce all the plants in the garden and couldn't help but touch all of them. He would pick up any animal we came across, much to my dismay because he really couldn't tell what was dangerous and what wasn't. He was also very open to other people back then, having an easy time to approach others and talk to them. He was ... really happy, I suppose. But that kind of happiness wanes when you have to grow up with that kind of curse resting on your shoulders."

Her eyelids lowered halfway, shielding her gaze but her whole being seemed to project how despondent she was. No mother wanted such a life for her child but she had had to watch for two thousand years how hers went through hell and back again. Even worse, after the period of the curse was weathered, the trial followed and the danger didn't seem to be any lower.

"I watched as he stopped doing those things one by one, as his happiness reduced step by step and there was nothing I could do about it."

"It wasn't your fault."

Bai Fen shook her head. "I know but ... I am his mother. Of course, I want to protect him. To be unable to do so no matter how hard I tried ... that was hard to bear. But I know that, at the end of the day, the pain I felt watching him could not even compare to half of his own suffering. My child ... he is truly cursed. I felt that every time something new happened."