Oh. My. Fate?! (BL, Volume 12, Part 1)

70 Better Keep Busy

"Well, it's good that we agree." Jinde's lips curved back up into a smile. Hearing Qiu Ling say this, he was indeed no longer worried. No dragon would put the life and happiness of the one they loved on the line. Since Jing He was in this situation and there was a way out, then even if it was hard, Qiu Ling would still do his utmost to reach a point where Jing He could put down his heart and become a trueborn god again.

With this issue out of the way, he turned to Leng Jin Yu. "You should go over to the Nine Heavens directly. It won't do to wait too long. The situation is already delicate as is."

Leng Jin Yu nodded. "I'll get the letter the demons sent from adviser Xiang Yong and then I'll be on my way."

Jinde nodded, craned his neck, and kissed his husband on the lips. "You go then. I'll continue to chat with Qiu Ling for a while."

"Mn." Leng Jin Yu hummed and glanced at Qiu Ling, bidding farewell to him as well before he left the courtyard and went to find Xiang Yong.

Outside, Jinde turned back to the transmission when his husband was out of sight. "How are you holding up?"

Qiu Ling raised his brows. It seemed that Jinde was really worried about him. Well, it also wasn't that strange. He glanced at Jing He and then sighed deeply. "What am I supposed to say to that? I ... feel better now that I have found him and know that he is generally safe. At the same time, my heart hurts for him that he had to go through all that suffering and will continue to do so in the future. Thinking about what he might feel when he wakes up all alone and realizes that he is now a fallen god ... it worries me. I feel like ... my heart is about to crumble from how tightly it is squeezed."

Jinde nodded. He had had his fair share of heartache back then but usually, Chun Yin had been doing well at least. He could comfort himself that way. Qiu Ling was in the opposite situation now: They were actually a couple and doing well in that regard but Jing He himself wasn't. It didn't help that there was nothing he could do.

"What he is feeling ... I guess I get it in a certain way. At the time when I became king and your father refused to be with me, I struggled with similar thoughts. It is ... not easy to reconcile and that was even though the issue was caused on the outside for me. It has to be worse if those are your inner thoughts."

Qiu Ling nodded. "I'm not surprised. Not really. I mean ... I guess I am surprised about how bad it was but I always knew that Jing He had some ..." He paused, trying to think of a way to say this. "I guess he was always a bit insecure. I'm not sure where it originally came from. I don't think it's necessary either. But knowing that, I really can't say that this is totally unexpected.

"Still, it's hard to accept. I thought that things were looking up and even if they weren't going at a pace I would have considered fast enough, I still thought we could make it work. It seems Jing He saw that differently." He turned to look at him again, quietly reaching up to brush his cheek. "I wish I had been there to reassure him after his father said whatever set this in motion. He just ... deserves so much better."

Jinde nodded. "I know you do and you'll get the chance to make up for it in the future. Whatever he is suffering through now, you can get through it and then focus on the good things later. Don't let this get you down."

Qiu Ling hummed but continued to look at Jing He's face and the dark spot between his brows. The pain of shattering your soul was both physical and psychological. To think that the love between them had caused Jing He to go through that ... it made him feel guilty.

He took a deep breath and then sighed before turning back to Jinde. "Tian said that I could have prevented this if my actions before had been different. I haven't dared to think about that too deeply but ... it should mean that this was partially my fault."

Jinde wanted to shake his head but stopped himself at the last moment. Of course, he didn't think that this was really Qiu Ling's fault but even if he said that, it wouldn't help. Anyway, he was biased toward Qiu Ling in everything and the supreme sovereign had already spoken. What was there left to talk about?

"Anyway, it is in the past. Don't think about it too much. It's better to think about the future. Since you can't stay with him at that time, you should consider what to do instead. It should be best to keep busy lest you can't stop thinking about him."

Qiu Ling could only smile wryly. Even if he kept busy to the point where his feet wouldn't touch the ground, it still wouldn't stop him from worrying about Jing He. But, well, as long as it could keep him from rushing to the High Heavens at a moment's notice and cause issues with Jing He's return to the ranks of the trueborn gods that was already good.

"Well, Tian said to use the time to prepare for the wedding. It doesn't seem to be such a bad idea. I mean ... if Jing He manages to really turn back, then there will be a big ceremony. If he doesn't ... well, I suppose we could still change it to a secret ceremony with a few people at most or only the two of us in the worst case."