Broken

32

"So he said all that to you?" Joey asked. I nodded and sipped my tea. "Uh huh. And I don't want to talk to him a bit."

I had been avoiding his calls for the whole week. My phone was out of battery and I couldn't be bothered to charge it.

"I'm so sorry." Joey apologized. I smiled a little and downed the remainder of my tea.
"It's okay. I'm fine. I've heard far more hurtful things."

"Let's not talk about him right now." Joey said.

I nodded and placed our cups in the sink.

"Let's make real dinner this evening,I'm tired of eating ramen and pizza." Joey joked. I giggled and placed the cups in a cupboard.

"Well,I'll have to go to the supermarket. We're out of veggies and meat and well, everything." I said and shrugged.

"Okay,I have a meeting in a few hours so I'll be out by the time you'll be back." He shrugged and walked to his bedroom.

"Cheese,milk, chicken, parsley,bread and mayo." I recited and ticked.

"Mayo?" Joey asked.

"Yeah,mayo,have you tried mayo and bread? It's amazing!" I bragged.

"Ew." Joey retched and walked out of the apartment.

Honestly speaking,I missed Elron and Lukas. The annoying whines and fight and tiny tantrums. I missed all that.

"Could you drop me off at the supermarket?" I asked as I followed behind him.

"Okay."

________________ _ _ _________________

"Okay,if I get you one chocolate bar,will you behave?" I tried to bargain with Lukas as I walked past the aisles.

"No,two bars." He answered. I rolled my eyes and kept pushing the cart.

"....Could you please direct me to where I could find the milk,please?" I heard a familiar female voice ask.

"Claire?"

"Mama!" Lukas yelled and ran towards her.

She jumped a bit when Lukas hugged her.

"Lukas?" She was obviously shocked to see him alone. "Where's daddy?" She asked while holding his cheeks.

"There." He pointed at me.

I straightened my back a bit and looked at her.

"Hello." I waved a bit.

"Hi." She responded. She turned around to walk away when I held her wrist.

"Claire,please wait."

"Please don't touch me."

"Lukas miss mama." Lukas whined while hugging her leg.

I could feel the other shoppers looking at us but I didn't care.

"Claire,I'm sorry. I should have stood up for you. I regret it. Please come back home. At least for Lukas." I begged.

She let go of my hand and turned to face me. Her eyes were bloodshot,almost as if she had been crying.

"Elron,I don't want any of this. I don't want it again. I didn't even get to know you well. I was just forced into this. And now that same person said that to me. I'm sorry,I don't want this again!"

"What do you mean?" I asked,fear evident in my voice.

"I don't want this. No one even knew about our union and us breaking up wouldn't be known either. I'm sorry. I really am. But I can't be with someone that makes me feel like I failed at something. Please don't think it's your fault. It's mine,and I'll account for it myself."

After she said this she walked away. I never meant for her to feel as if anything was her fault.

"Mommy!" Lukas cried. I saw her turn around and look at Lukas before walking back.

"Lukas, remember,mommy loves you. And mommy doesn't want you to feel bad. Daddy will take care of you. Daddy will find another mommy for you,and she'll love you. Like how I did. But for now,you won't see mommy." She said and wiped his tears.

She looked at me before walking away again. Probably forever.

______________________________________

The tears didn't stop flowing even when I got home. My head and heart was pounding and I felt as if someone had sucked out all the life from me.

I never want us to break up but I had to. I didn't want Elron to have someone like me as a wife. His father was right. I am broken. Tainted. Ruined. I didn't deserve anyone to love me. To care for me. I never felt love when I was little and I guess I'll die loveless.

I locked myself in the bathroom and by the time I came out,it was almost midnight.

"I heard you crying." Joey said and extended his arms. I fell into his embrace and felt more tears seeping out.

"It's okay. Do you want to talk about it? Maybe over ice cream?" Joey asked and pulled out two bowls.

"Sure." I whispered. My throat hurt and I didn't want to strain myself.

"Okay then." Joey smiled and pulled me to the kitchen.

The ice cream was a bit bitter sweet and I couldn't have it anyway else.

"So you start school in a few weeks?"

I nodded.

"My dad knows a Dean in The UK. Maybe you'd want to,I don't know study there?" He asked,trying to not seem presumptuous.

"Well,I guess. I could change,since I have nothing here." I answered as I ate my ice cream.

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Hi guys,
Honestly,I almost cried writing this. Well news, there'll be a definite Book 2 (Yass!) I wouldn't end all in one book. Book 2 has more emotions and some new people will be introduced.

It'll be released after this which will be in about maybe in a month's time.

Either way,I hope to see you there.

Love,KA