Constant Repeat

Part 17.6

Make sure to read 17.5 first

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

It was unfair really, how she could barely have them for forty eight hours and how those seemed to have flown by before their eyes.

Those thirty minutes at the pub had gone by in a flash, between the laughter and chatter, and the new round of drinks they all got to cheers for the lovely weekend—more like an unusual two day bender as it had been Sunday and Monday they'd spent together—, they hadn't realized it was time to go until the bus driver texted the groupchat the guys had with Steve and the rest of the crew to say they really needed to leave as soon as possible.

The group quickly left the establishment, the panic of them not making it in time to properly soundcheck before the show enveloping them all. It was good that they'd been smart and put away all of their things in the bus before leaving for the party, but it didn't matter that much how much time that saved when they were waiting for their taxi to arrive and they were about fifteen minutes away from Ella's.

It was torture when the trip back to Ella's house felt longer, as if the minutes had intentionally elongated when she was feeling the weight of the imminent goodbye pressing on her chest and threatening to make it difficult for her to breathe.

Alex was sitting next to her on the van that had picked them up, and they were keeping each other as close as possible, silently and prematurely making up for the distance that would separate them very soon.

He kept leaving kisses on the top of her head, while she brought their interlocked hands up to her face and kept dropping pecks on the back of his hand. Wordlessly reminding each other that they were still there, tasting every second they had with the other.

Knowing now that she was deeply in love with him made it hurt so much more, and that was why, when they had finally gotten back to Ella's house and walked onto the cobblestone path and towards the bus, Ella had let herself break and with her voice trembling as she tried containing her tears, she pleaded, "Don't go."

Tears pooled in her waterline, the corners of her lips dropping in a sad pout that squeezed Alex's heart. A knot formed in his throat, the despair she felt was the one tugging at his heartstrings as well. He walked up to her slowly, fearful that if he moved quicker that he would be snatched away from her even faster.

"I don't wanna." Alex admitted too, in a whisper. His arms softly snaked around her waist but when they were properly wrapped around it, he clutched her tightly onto his chest.

"Just–" She tried to say but her voice broke. A confession of every thought that went through her mind weighed on her tongue, she wanted so hard to tell him but what difference would it make if he was leaving? She sniffled as the tears started running down her cheeks, she was so frustrated. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders and kept him as close as he could to her, she could only mutter what she selfishly wanted for him to do, to not leave her. "Don't. Please."

Alex didn't move, only holding her tighter to him. His own tears fell when her chest started shaking against his as she started to sob. He had to pull back to wipe her tears and look at her in the eyes and console her with his words. But when he looked at those eyes he'd fallen hypnotized for, glassy and her nose reddening from her crying, his words failed him.

All he could properly do was kiss her.

The air charged with sorrow made the kiss feel incredibly moving, the second their lips touched and started moving together, something shifted. There was a new understanding, an underlying message that they both got.

It tasted salty from their tears, but it was slow and delicate. Their tongues didn't touch until she'd let herself whimper with despair into his mouth—those flames that had enveloped her earlier at the taste of him were long gone, all that was left was the heaviness of her chest that begged her to savor every bit of his affection, desperately longing for him already.