The Darkness Within: Vol. 4

Dear Cousin

Will I ever have it figured out?
Will this ever come to an end?

I'm tired of asking questions,
I'm tired of wondering why.
I sit alone by the wayside,
Watching cars pass me by.

I sit on a cliff, I stare out to sea
I look to the skies, do You see me?
I know You do, but I can't feel
So I can't help but wonder if this is all real

I look out to sea, I pluck at the grass
I heave a great sigh and stare at my feet
Why is this all happening to me?
Why are you the one suffering? 

I want you to talk but I know I can't make you
I can only promise to be there for you
But if you're not here then I'm of no use
Or maybe I am, but you're a recluse

I have my own problems,
I have my own doubts
I have my own demons to fight
Day in, day out

I want you to relate to me
I want me to relate to you
But if you're not talking then I'm alone
And so are you, lost in your zone

I want to be good enough
But I feel that I'm not enough
Will I get to feel relief
Or will I stay down, like a thief?

I steal my own joy away from myself
And wonder why things are this way
But if only I had a chance to explain
Maybe then I'd say things my own way

But even so, (I've done it before)
I know things won't change
One thing led to two, then three, then four
And before I knew it I'm back on the floor

So I'll be silent and say no more
I'll sit on the cliff and stare out to sea
I'll look to the sky on a starry night
And shed a tear
As I count the cars passing by on the street