In some ways
I wish I was still depressed
I knew exactly how the day would go... for many years
I would stay in my bed,
telling myself I'm not good enough
it would still be the same sadness it was the day prior
I'd still feel empty
and I'd still be all alone,
for many years the pain was so comforting
like I was wrapped around its gentle arms,
I never wanted to leave it
it was all my body knew.
Sometimes I don't want to be happy
because I don't know when it will change
and I have to fight to stay afloat
in my building full of waters of regret
but if I was depressed I never had to fight for it
and it wasn't a "maybe I'll be depressed"
it was always "I know I'll be depressed"
and that's why in some ways
I wish I was still depressed.
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The Muse Of Nature & Incomprehensible Torture (poetry & prose)
PoetryThis collection of poetry and prose is all about my life, from the very beginning to very recently. It's a tale of my childhood, relationships of all kinds, all sorts of breakups, trauma, the ups and downs of being a teenage human, and the waves of...
