The Muse Of Nature & Incomprehensible Torture (poetry & prose)

To Mia,

You have a time already planned by the universe
for the day you leave this world,
The universe knows how many years
you have left
& it's something you can't predict it,
but you told me you want to take control of it.
I assure you nobody will be mad at you
for cutting your life short
& pretending to be the universe with your life;
But, my dear Mia, it is not your destiny,
Dear Mia, It is not your responsibility,
Your suffering is ugly
but your survival is going to be beautiful.
You shouted at me that you're not scared of death
but Mia, it is not what you were made for,
You'll find your purpose soon
but until then,
Don't say goodbye to something
you don't know yet
because the universe has a plan
for you already set
& it knows you won't feel like this
for much longer.
Dear Mia, when you're awake all night
& decide to try and get ahold of somebody
but they inevitably don't answer,
You'll take a drive to anywhere far
& Park your car until the thoughts quit persisting
You'll feel okay for an hour
but by then everyone you tried to call
will wake up with a burning feeling of worry in their heart
& My dear Mia you'll say you're better,
when you know the process will repeat
but you don't dare to make anyone worried.
You'll try to play with your life
& choose when your fragile life shall end,
But Mia, one day you'll find peace
though you feel no hope
I'll plead with you until you believe it
until you have hope
& I'll hold your tear-soaked cheeks
& puffed-up eyes
until your cheeks are dry
& your eyes are lively,
My dear Mia.