AMNESIA BABE ( MIEFER FANFIC )

THE GUY SHE REALLY DESERVES

Kiefer's Pov

Two months before our 1st anniversary, Mika and I decided to go on a break. Lack of time, possesiveness, so many issues thrown between the two of us from people who didn't know the real score. I got tired of explaining myself and proving myself that I deserve her. She got tired understanding me most of the time. Our relationship is not healthy anymore. We both believe that it's not working.

Mika loves her privacy. Ayaw niyang may taong nakikialam sa bawat galaw, bawat detalye ng relasyon namin. She rarely post pictures of us together. It made me feel that she's not proud of me, ayaw niya bang malaman ng buong mundo na may boyfriend na sya? Bakit? Am I not enough? Ayaw niya bang isipin ng ibang tao na hindi kami bagay? Na hindi ba ako gwapo? Bakit? Samantalang ako halos ipagsigawan ko na sa mundong akin sya.

Hindi rin sya mahilig magpost ng mga sweet messages sa fb, twitter or instagram niya lalo at tungkol samin. He never said she loves me in public. Kaya nagmukhang ako yung mahal na mahal sya kesa sya sa akin. Yes I do love him pero wala naman silang alam kung gaano kalala magpakita si Mika ng pagmamahal niya sakin pag kami lang dalawa. Convinced naman akong mahal niya, pero hindi ko pa rin maintindihan kung bakit simpleng I love you lang hindi niya magawang sabihin sakin sa social media at ipaalam sa iba.

One day I asked her why. I was surprised when he told me why.

Ayokong nagpopost ng masasayang pictures natin dahil naniniwala akong hindi natin kailangan ang buong mundo para makisaya sa kung anong meron tayo. Ako at ikaw lang sapat na.

Ayokong nagpopost ng sweet messages sa social media dahil pag nagpost ako ng sweet matutukso din ako magpost ng bitterness pag magkaaway tayong dalawa. Which will make people question us. Ayokong magcomment sila na parang kailan lang ok kayo ah? Anong nangyari? . Whether good or bad ang pinagdadaanan natin naniniwala akong dapat ibalato na lang nila yun satin.

Ayoko magpost hindi dahil sa hindi kita mahal, hindi dahil sa hindi ako proud at lalong hindi dahil para magmukha akong single sa mata nila. Simple lang, ayokong may nakikialam sa ating dalawa. Hindi ko kailangan ang approval ng ibang tao sa tuwing sinasabi kong mahal kita.

Our relationship is between you and me. PERIOD

Tumatak sa isip ko yun, be careful on what you share dahil yung iba pwedeng kiligin pag masaya kayo, pwedeng concern pag may problema kayo pero ang masama yung mga taong tuwang tuwa pag nagbreak kayo.

She rarely posts happy and sweet moments of us. Pero nung currently on a break kami nagulat ako nung may ishare syang link sa twitter niya. Nacurious ako sa title pa lang so I open it .....

"To The Guy Who Didn't Appreciate Her When He Had The Chance" by Matthew Williamson

I bet you never thought you'd receive a written response for all of things you did to her. Most of all, I bet you really didn't expect it from me.

In all honesty, she told me not to do it. She told me to let it go. Because she's kind and compassionate like that. But this is my idea. My attempt at coming at you straight. Man to man. Adult to adult.

F--- you.

I'm not exactly sure what or who taught you that a girl was a toy, disposable and replaceable. I'm not exactly sure who told you that it was fair game to manipulate her wants and needs and somehow morph them into some sick, twisted version that left you satisfied and left her constantly questioning what she did wrong when you didn't text or call back.

I'm not exactly sure who told you it was okay to make her feel like she wasn't worth taking pictures with or introducing your friends to or even telling people close to you that she existed. I'm not exactly sure why you'd only call her late at night when you were too insecure and immature to be a real man that finds the beauty in courtship, romance, and love.

However, I honestly don't care. Because I will never speak to you, I will never give you the time of day, and I will never be okay with how you made her feel.

But, all of that aside, you know what this is really about? It's a letter of gratitude. It's an honest expression of true and sincere thankfulness.

Because of you, I finally met her. The one that is permanent and irreplaceable. The one who's needs and wants are constantly on my mind because mine are on hers. The one who I get to lose my breath over, look at, and call "beautiful, stunning, sexy" and actually mean every sense of the words. The one who I'm proud to be seen with. The one who I can't wait to show off to my friends, family, and everyone in between. The one who deserves the fullness of what real love actually consists of. The one that deserves flowers just because.

The one that deserves to be listened to and consoled when she has a bad day. The one who deserves to be kissed goodnight and not have to worry about if she's "playing the game" correctly. The one who deserves to always be told she's beautiful even when she feels like she's not the best version of herself.

The one that deserves everything that is better than you.

I truly hope you understand that you had it all. Everything. And you can bet with everything that you are, to your bones, your very core, that she'll never have to question the way that I feel about her.

She'll never have to settle for someone like you.

In closing, thank you. Thank you so abundantly much for being the asshole that you are.

Sincerely,

The guy she really deserves.

Bawat salita tumusok sa dibdib ko. Yeah Im an asshole but this asshole wants his princess back. I need to do something to have her again, back in my life back where she truly belongs.

On a break kami, cool off kung tawagin ng iba hindi pa naman break di ba? I was in the middlle of my vacation in Boracay, I want there to relax to somehow forget her, forget about us. I drink, I party, I flirt I live my life the way I want it to be nung hiningi ko yung on a break. Akala ko masaya na walang Mika pero narealize ko lang kung gaano ako kalaking tanga.

After I read that letter she shared, dali dali akong bumalik ng Manila. Mas maaga kesa sa plano. Pahinga pala ah, pahinga ko mukha ko. Niloloko ko lang ang sarili ko, alam ko at ramdam ko.

I need to win her back. I want her back. Pagdating na pagdating ko ng Manila, sa condo niya ko unang pumunta.

I knock on the door, walang sumasagot. I tried to call her pero dahil on a break, nakablocked ako. So I patiently waited sa labas ng pinto ng condo niya. Matagal, nakakapagod pero inisip ko at bumalik ako dun sa mga panahong nanliligaw pa lang ako, kung paano ko sinabing magaantay ako kahit gano katagal. Matagal pero worth it. Nakakapagod pero isipin ko lang sya malakas na ko ulit.

Maya maya lang naramdaman kong dumating na sya. Pagod sya hindi lang sa dun sa pinagkakaabalahan niya, mas pagod sya sakin, samin.

Isang mahigpit na yakap ang binigay ko sa kanya kalakip ang bawat salitang humihingi ng patawad sa lahat ng kasalanan ko sa kanya.

Hinanda ko na ang sarili ko na baka eto na ang huling araw na makikita ko sya, hinanda ko na ang tenga ko sa posibilidad na marinig ko mismo sa sarili niyang bibig na eto na ang hangganan naming dalawa.

Hinintay kong sabihin niya na pagod na sya, na ayaw niya na pero nagulat ako nung hiningi niya saking lumaban pa kaming dalawa.

Mahal kita Mika mahal na mahal kita at pangako hinding hindi dadating ang araw na may susulat sakin ng tulad ng iyong nabasa...

Author's Note:
credits to Thought Catalogue for that letter pati na rin sa author 👍🏻
Sorry for breaking my promise na last hugot UD na yung MAHAL KO EH :) 🙈🙈
Sobrang on point lang kasi yung letter na yan kaya shinare ko 😂😂
Promise last na to and sorry for being too makata on the last part 🙊🙊
Cyber hugs for all of you my loves 😘😘😘
#KAPITLANG 💪🏻💪🏻