My Broken YOU

Us

The night is still early, but I don't want to party. Neither did Mason. The clear and star-filled sky illuminates our walk as I stare down at the sidewalk, with no words to say. I don't think he has words either.

The awkwardness isn't bothering me, the silence is okay with me, but the way he walks makes me believe he thinks his shit doesn't stink. Yet, I don't even care. It's a part of him that seems to make him who he is. It's an asshole move, but without it he wouldn't be himself.

"No words?" he calmly asks, his hands held behind his back as he stares up at the sky.

I softly shake my head 'No', keeping my eyes aimed in his direction but not directly at him. "Not sure what to talk about. I didn't expect to see you so soon after that rescue at the party. Hell, I didn't expect to be walking home with you."

"Why?" He questions, his smile turning to a straight line while curiosity builds on his face. "Is there a problem with walking home with me?"

"Nope." I quickly answer and turn my attention to the starry sky. "Just, don't know what to say to you."

"Do you have a boyfriend?" He questions.

I scoff playfully and a smile breaks out on my face. "Why would that matter to you? You don't do the dating scene."

"Well," He quickly interrupts. "I don't date, but I do find interest in women if you haven't noticed."

"Not me." I shake my head and chew the corner of my bottom lip while fighting back the urge to say more.

"Oh yeah?" His smile grows as he steps a foot closer to me, walking side by side and making my hand brush across his. "Why not?"

I exhale through my nose. There's a part of me that wants to be honest with him and another part afraid to admit anything to him. I don't know him at all, but I know I feel this comfort around him. I feel like I could admit the truth or anything to him. And I feel like that should be a problem.

I look into his eyes. "I'm blunt. I can be quiet and a little 'good girl', but I am blunt."

He tilts his head, his eyes narrowed at me. It's a very confused expression if I'd ever seen one. "Go on?" He says and stops walking.

I swallow that 'magical knot' that I felt earlier. It goes down my throat hard, but I get it to go down. "I'm a virgin, Mason. I don't know what in the world made me admit that to you. But I know that is the only reason or one of the only reasons why you connect with any girl. So, again...I am not that girl."

"Okay," he says, nodding his head again, and continues walking. "No judgment."

"I wouldn't care if there was." I softly argue. "I've never cared about what people thought about me. I do...me."

"I've never cared what people thought about me either." He adds, his hand purposely brushing across mine again. "Is this you?" He points up at my building.

"It is," I say and exhale through my nose again, knowing damn well he can see my nostrils flare up. "This was..." I pause, not sure what to say. "An interesting talk."

"Fair enough." He smiles, his hands folded behind his back, again. "Interesting is a word I usually don't use, but I'll accept it."

"Kind of like credit cards being accepted at most locations!" I jokingly say with a wide smile, quickly realizing how awkward I just made the conversation. He doesn't smile, move, or even make any facial expressions, he just stares at me blankly.

"Have a good night, Madison. Oh, and is this the beginning of a friendship?"

My hand presses against the railing as I step backward up the stairs. My nervousness has to be obvious to him. I'm fine, but a part of me just came up with the dumbest joke I've ever heard.

 "Friends," I ask. "Is that something you are capable of?"

He softly nods, his eyes gazing into mine. "It is."

I step up to the next step, miss it, and drop. My hands reach for the air to grab anything but there is nothing. I close my eyes expecting to land on my ass, but I feel his hands quickly slide underneath my back and butt, his lips somehow almost touching mine, and his minty-smelling breath making me wish I had gum right now. He caught me.

My heart is pounding, and this slight hunger sits inside of me as I feel his touch. It's nothing I have ever felt before, and I want to feed it. The problem is I don't know how to feed it. It's him. My craving is him. What the hell is wrong with me?

"You should be more careful, Madison." His tone is extremely soft. "You could've gotten hurt."

"But I didn't," I say in an almost inaudible tone as my rapidly escaping breaths brush across his face. I pray my breath doesn't smell like anything except for that margarita I had.

His gaze into my eyes feels controlling yet I enjoy it. This small sense of wild electricity rushes through me. I want to kiss him, yet I want to run very far away.

"I should probably go inside now," I breathe, the words shakily coming out of my mouth. "You can let me go, Mason."

"Yeah." He quickly says, his eyes burning deep into mine as he slowly releases his arms from me. "This almost reminds me of an eighties romance movie."

"Yeah." I agree as my chest burns wildly in this intense moment. My mind is rushing at a million miles per second while I wonder if his mind is doing the same thing.

This guy has proven to be incapable of loving someone. He's different than everyone else. He's slightly mysterious. He lives more of a rebellious lifestyle. His love for an enjoyable life and different girls daily is a bit extreme, but fair because it's his lifestyle. But he needs to understand that feelings do exist in others...

The old sandy-colored stone dorm building waits for me as I exhale a deep breath and step away from Mason. This guy more than likely doesn't find a romantic attraction to me, it's probably a sexual attraction.

"Good night, Mason!" I say, spinning around and beginning to carefully walk up the stairs to the doors.

"Good night, Madison." His deep tone triggers this rush inside of me again.  "And see you around. I do want to be friends."