My Broken YOU

A part of me

As I sit in my bed, still gazing into his eyes, I am fighting with myself. He's trying to leave while I want him to stay, not certain what it exactly is I want from him. "I do have an event I said I would help with today." He explains, his tense jaw telling me he's feeling uncertain about leaving.

I take a deep breath through my nose, moving the blanket below my stomach, revealing the same short shirt as last night. His eyes instantly go to my belly and his bottom lip folds into his mouth while he looks at me like I am a meal waiting to be devoured.

"Can I ask you something without you taking it wrong?" His tone is deep and soft.

I softly nod. My legs slide against the sheets as that warmth in between them only grows warmer and that hunger inside of me begins to build again.

"Have you truly never been touched by another person?"

I swallow the excess water in my mouth as my heart races a little faster. I'm in my bed in my room, and I can't stop imagining what he could be capable of doing to me, pleasuring me. "No," I say, almost inaudible, and swallow again. "My ex was the only person I was ever really with. He would wrap his arms around me when we kissed, but he never kissed me the way you did. And he never touched me the way you did last night."

He softly nods his head. His eyes begin to wander around my room. "You don't have any idea what pleasure feels like unless you've done it to yourself."

I nod again, my eyes turning somewhat sex-drunk as that feeling between my legs growing stronger, forcing me to close them and rub them together. But doing that only seems to arouse me even more. "I've pleasured myself before, but even that."

"Even what?" He asks, interrupting me, and looks down at his watch, but not acting like he's in a hurry.

"I've only pleasured myself a couple of times in my life. If I can recall, I can add it all up on one hand."

He takes a step closer to me, exhaling a soft breath. "So, you've never had anybody do anything to you? Not even with their hands, mouth?"

I shake my head 'No' as I innocently look into his eyes, feeling more nervous than I did last night. We were doing more than talking last night, so why am I more nervous now? What is it about all this that's making me feel this way?

He lightly shakes his head from left to right. The tip of his inviting tongue runs across his tight-pressed lips. "You don't have to answer this, but when was the last time you did 'that'."

"Pleasured myself?" I softly ask, looking down at the blanket between my hands as I play with it. "I was seventeen. And then for the first time in four years, I just did it this morning."

"This morning?" His surprised tone asks as his eyes widen. His mouth partly opens as the shock builds on his face. "I'm trying to comprehend all of this, including the fact that you are a virgin, but now you're telling me, you've only pleasured yourself a couple of times in your entire life and this morning was one of those times?"

"You knocked as I finished," I say, the words pouring out of my mouth like word vomit.

"Well, that's kind of a good thing," he says, his eyes digging deeper into mine like he's searching for something inside of me. "At least that means you don't need anything now. Right?"

I shake my head no, my innocent-looking eyes burning deeper into his. "I can't believe I am telling you this." I scoff and look back down at my blanket. "But I exploded in pleasure, I guess you could call it. And I figured that meant that was it and fed my hunger. But the more I look at you, the more my hunger returns."