My Broken YOU

A part of me

As I sit in my bed, still gazing into his eyes, I fight with myself. He's trying to leave while I want him to stay, and I'm not certain what I want from him. 

"I have an event I said I would help with today." He explains. His tense jaw tells me that even he is feeling uncertain about leaving.

I take a deep breath through my nose, moving the blanket below my stomach, revealing the same short shirt as last night. His eyes instantly go to my belly and the expression painted on his face reveals a hunger inside of him that he wants to feed.

"Can I ask you something without you taking it wrong?" His tone is deep and soft, almost like he's fighting himself.

I softly nod. My legs slide against the sheets as that warmth in between them only grows warmer and that hunger inside of me begs me to feed it.

"You've never been touched by another person?"

I swallow the excess water in my mouth as my heart races a little faster. I'm in my bed in my room, and I can't stop imagining what he could be capable of doing to me. I told myself I wouldn't let this happen. I lied to myself! 

"Just you," I say, almost inaudible while that wildfire inside of me burns out of control and he is the only one who can put it out. "My ex was the only person I was ever 'really' with. He would wrap his arms around me when we kissed, but he never kissed me the way you did. And he never touched me the way you touched me last night. I've never felt those feelings inside of me. I've never felt...whatever this is inside of me."

He softly nods his head. Between his tight jaw and the confused arousal dancing in his eyes, I know what he wants to do. 

He steps closer. "Let me get this straight. The only pleasure you've ever had is the pleasure you've given yourself?"

I nod again, my eyes turning somewhat sex-drunk as his seductive-sounding tone grows wilder and his deep mysterious eyes cannot peel from mine. "I've pleasured myself before, but even that..." I pause.

"Even what?" He asks and looks down at his watch, but not acting like he's in a hurry.

"I've only pleasured myself a couple of times in my life. If I can recall, I can add it all up on one hand."

He takes another step closer to me, sending another igniting spark to burn through my body. "So, you've never had anybody do anything to you? Not even with their hands or mouth? Nothing?"

I shake my head 'No' as my lost puppy eyes innocently look into his eyes, feeling more nervous than I did last night. We were doing more than 'just talking' last night, so why am I more nervous now? What is it about all this that's making me feel this way?

He lightly shakes his head from left to right. The tip of his inviting tongue runs across his tight-pressed lips for what feels like the hundredth time. "You don't have to answer this, but when was the last time you did that to yourself?"

"Pleasured, myself?" I softly ask, looking down at the blanket between my hands as I play with it. "I was seventeen. And then for the first time in four years, I just did it this morning."

"This morning?" He asks with surprise in his tone as his eyes widen. His mouth partly opens as shock and arousal build on his face. "So, you've pleasured yourself a few times in your life. And one of those times just so happened to be this morning. How long ago?"

"You knocked as I finished," I say, the words pouring out of my mouth like word vomit. "Just moments ago."

His eyes analyze the blanket and whatever parts of my body are revealing outside of the blanket. "Did I interrupt?"