My Broken YOU

Her Party

The night is warm considering the time of the year. I'm in ripped jeans and a red, short, open-back shirt and I'm comfortable. The night sky is clear, and the moon illuminates the sidewalk along with the streetlights as we reach the party.

"Which frat house is this?" I ask while this morning keeps taking up all the space in my mind.

Ava exhales and looks at me. Her straight and somewhat serious expression makes me feel uneasy. "This isn't a frat house. It's just a party. Some campus students live here, and Mason sometimes stays here."

"Mason?" I question as my heart sinks into my stomach. I swallow the nerves trying to pour out of me as I look at a group of partiers in the front yard. "This is his house?"

"No." She answers as we step up the first step. "This is one of the houses that he stays at from time to time. He has a bedroom and helps some of his friends by paying the rent for them."

I nod as we enter the overly large living room. There's a DJ with an entire lighting system as music blares around us. It's crowded, but not too crowded as I look around the large house. The kitchen off to the left hosts beer kegs and what looks like loads of liquor bottles are still mostly full. People are surrounding the kegs, making me not want to go get a beer.

My eyes analyze the living room, not certain what I am looking for. Deep down I know who I am looking for, but I am trying to play it off smoothly. "Do you think he's here?" I question as the words fall out of my mouth, not meaning to say it out loud.

"Do you want me to be honest?" She asks with seriousness in her eyes as she looks at me, not smiling. "He's probably in a room with some girl."

"He took my virginity this morning," I argue, hoping Ava is wrong. "And he made it seem like it took care of his urges. Do you truly think he's sleeping with another girl that quickly?"

She nods her head as she looks around the room. Is she looking for Brayden or trying to ignore my death stare? "I do!" She answers and begins to walk into the crowd of dancing people. "That's exactly who Mason Pembrook is. And girly! I told you losing it to him was just sex. No emotional attachment."

"And there isn't one, Ava!" I argue. "I mean it! I don't feel anything for him. The sex was amazing, and I could see myself sleeping with him again."

"Tonight already?" She asks as his eyes widen in surprise like I'm telling her my dog just died. "Give yourself a day to rest. Settle down, addict!"

"Ava!" I playfully scoff and slap her shoulder as I push past a few people. "I am not an addict! I found something I enjoy. And I enjoyed it with him so if he's open to doing it again, I'd be open to it."

"And If you keep sleeping with him, you might find an emotional attachment to him." She argues. Is she wanting me to stay away from him? Is my best friend jealous of me sleeping with him? Why is she so defensive and argumentative over all of this?

"And that'd be my problem, now, wouldn't it?" I state as my eyes finally glide past Mason and... "You've got to be kidding me!" I say as my jaw tightens and my fists clench.

Ava exhales a disappointed breath as she also finds Mason. "Do you want to leave?" she asks as we both look at Mason sitting with a group of girls. "We don't have to stay, Madison. Brayden just texted me saying he's at his cousin's party right down the street. We can go there."

My deep breath blows out of me as this form of confusion and anger builds inside of me like I've never felt before. A part of me knew this was coming. Mason was very clear that if I slept with him, it'd be a one-time deal. But a part of me was hoping since it felt as good as it did, we could at least continue sleeping together from time to time. He's proving to me right now that I was wrong.