My Life, My Forever (Sequel)

Chapter 55♡

Author's Note: 

Hey everyone. Paige's P.O.V contains references to a specific illness, if you don't want to read it, I will completely understand. I honestly do my best to research when it comes to a certain topic. Thankyou again for the support. It truly means a lot to me. 

Lauren xxx

Checking on my girls, both of them were asleep. Pheebs was loving being a mum. She was doing so well. She was getting through her struggles with her mental health. At least she was resting. Making myself some tea, I looked through some possible presents for my lovely, sweet girlfriend. I wanted to give her something that meant a lot. Putting a message in the group chat, I drank my tea. I now liked honey and lemon tea.. Pheebs drank it a lot when she was pregnant and it was the only thing that calmed the sickness down. I actually liked it. My phone buzzed. It was Simon replying to me with ideas for a present. 

Adam:

Buy her a new item of clothing. Just think about what she would like to wear. 

Carisi:

Give her some 'mum time.' Make her a cup of tea, hot chocolate, just care for her. Women love that. x

Elliot:

Plan a night in. Just something for the two of you. X 

Barba:

Write her a note to say how well she's doing. 

Simon:

Tell Phoebe that she's beautiful. She'll adore that. 

Hearing a cry, I tiptoed into the living room. I could see our baby girl. 'Hey hey..' Picking her up, I held her. 'Ahh.. there you are.' Cuddling her, she went all quiet. She was already so alert. Hearing a phone ring, it was Melinda.. 'Hey Melinda. Are you okay?' She said that she was fine. 'Ahh, Phoebe is fine. She's getting some rest. Ahh, yes. I do remember you telling me that. Harper is great.' Looking at Pheobe, I heard her snore lightly. 'Yes. I'll tell her that you said hi. Speak soon.' Ending the call, Harper looked at me.. 'I love you.' She slowly closed her eyes. Walking up and down with her, she settled. "ooo... you're so cute." As she settled down, I stroked her little cheek. I was going to protect her along with Pheobe. I couldn't wait to see her walk, I couldn't wait to watch her learn how to eat solids, I couldn't wait to hear her say Dada for the first time. My parents had been separated for years. I still spoke to my mom. My Dad and I fought over silly stuff.  When I was a teenager, I stole a car. It was stupid. I then went out for a joyride with my mates. Then, I got pulled over by the police. I got into trouble. But, I learnt my lesson. I became a cop. Hearing Harper gurgle, I settled her. She might need another feed.

"Okay.. maybe Mommy is awake now." Hearing her yawn, we stood by the living room door. "Hello gorgeous girl." She smiled at me. "You enjoyed your nap then?" She kissed me. "Yes I did. Was our little lady okay?" I nodded. "Yep. She just needed a cuddle." Handing her over, she cried.. "Hey.. hey.. do you need feeding?" I passed her the pillow. "Thanks babe." Sitting on the couch, she soothed Harper as she gurgled. 'Ahh okay Harper. Your food is here baby..' It then went all quiet. 'She's so hungry.' Phoebe looked at me. 'She sure is. Would you like something to eat babe?' She said yes. 'Please. Thankyou. I love you.' 

(Paige's P.O.V)

Mom and Dad were making dinner. Sitting on my bed, I heard my phone buzz. It was Kian. What? 

Hey. How are you?

Texting him back, I also texted Izzy, Bea and Cece. I then put my music on. I didn't feel good. I felt like I was constantly comparing myself to my older sister. I didn't feel pretty. 'Kids! Dinner!' Hearing Dad, I went downstairs. 'I'll get drinks.' Seeing the bowl of salad on the table, I just looked away. 'I have cooked tonight. Lamb fillets with chips and the salad.' Sitting next to Caleb, Ari looked at me. 'So, has anyone got anything exciting to tell me?' Dad said. 'I have.' Ariel smiled. 'I'm going to continue planning stuff for the formal dance.' Mom then asked her what she thought about what she had planned so far. 'I think I am doing pretty well. Amber is helping me as well.' I took some more salad.. then I pushed my meat to the side. 'Ahh. How is Amber?' As Dad continued to talk, Mom smiled at me. 'She's good. We were thinking of meeting up soon. It'll be nice to see her again.' I ended up just sitting there. I only ate one lettcue leaf. 'Can I be excused please?' Mom and Dad looked at each other. 'Paige.. you've hardly eaten.' I wanted to burst into tears. 'Dad..' Caleb looked at him. 'Alright.' Running upstairs, I locked myself in my bedroom. I then shut my curtains.. sitting in darkness. 'I'm not pretty..'  I heard myself say. My phone bleeped. Over and Over again... I just couldn't get my head around the fact that I might have issues with my body.  'Sweetie..' Dad was outside.. 'Look, I won't come in if you don't want me to, but I would like you know that your mom and I are always here when and if you're ready to talk.' Wiping my tears, I said that I wanted some time on my own. 'That's okay. I love you Paigey.' He was so sweet. 

Getting my stuff out, I went to shower. As the water washed over my body, I poked at my stomach. 'I'm not pretty! I'm not smart!' Poking at the rest of my body, I just shriveled.. I was not even fit enough.. 'Paige! It's me.' Now, what did Mom want? "Paige.. I would like to just talk to you." I told her to leave me alone..

"I.. I want to help you baby girl." I was cold so I decided to wrap the towel around my body..

Opening the bathroom door, Mom helped me. "You're going to be okay." Once I was dressed, Mom suggested making some hot chocolate. "I'd love that." Heading downstairs, we got the supplies out. "Would you two like a hot chocolate?" She was so kind towards her siblings. "Yes please sis!" My baby brother was so sweet. "So, I'd like to give you the space to tell me how you're feeling Paige."

Stirring the mix in my mug, I just stood there.. I felt like I was ugly. Ariel was so pretty. Jessie and Billie also looked stunning. So did my friends..

Giving Ariel and Caleb their mugs, they thanked me. "We love you P. Just talk to Mom." I smiled.. feeling a weak feeling inside of me. "Where's Dad?" Mom said that he was upstairs. "He's taking a shower I  think." Sitting down with Mom, she shut the kitchen door. "Now, would you like to tell me why you're feeling like this? Sipping my hot chocolate, I felt that feeling of sickness rise in my stomach. "It's just.. as I'm growing up, I'm constantly comparing myself to my friends. To Ariel." Mom took my hand. "I love being in cheer squad. It's fun. I just don't like the way I look sometimes." Sipping the rest of my drink, Mom then nodded. "I'm going to ask you a question.. I would like you to be honest with me..." I sat up.. "Have you ever made yourself sick?" I cried.. Mom hugged me tightly.

"Shh.. shhh.. baby girl. I'm here. I'm here." Mom held me. "Would you like to see a doctor?" She said no. "Okay. I actually have an idea." Paige then asked what it was. "How about we look at some body positivity cards?" I felt a little bit unsure.. "Can I think about it please? I'm kinda tired." Mom kissed my cheek. "Of course." She told me that she loved me. "I love you too."

Dad then hugged me. "I love you Paigey." I loved that he still called me that. "I love you too Daddy." He then said that everything was going to be okay. 'I know.' He headed downstairs. My phone bleeped.. it was my friends. 

Cece:

Bestie! Are you okay? I'm worried about you. xx

Izzy:

Paige.. is everything okay?

Bea:

Hey. I was just seeing if you're okay. Always here. xxx

Heading into my bedroom, I just put my pyjamas on and went to bed. Letting the tears fall, I took some deep breaths. I started to panic.. I tossed and turned. Waking up, I sat up for a bit. Just letting my thoughts cloud over my mind, I cried. I felt different to my friends. I couldn't stop the negative thoughts and feelings  from filling my mind..

I heard someone knock at my door. "Who is it?" I heard my sister's voice. "It's me." Going to open the door, she asked if I wanted a hug. "Yes please." She held me. "Awww my Paigey." We sat down on my bed. "I.. just feel awful. It feels like my body isn't normal." Ariel ran her fingers through my hair. "I know that you may not believe this right now.. but you're beautiful." I thanked her. 'I love you sis.' Ariel then suggested that we watch a movie together. 'Sure.' As she sat with me in my bed, we flicked through some movie choices.. 

'Well, we have Mean Girls, Kissing Booth, If I Stay and Bad Neighbors.' She even allowed me to pick. 'I think we should watch Kissing Booth.' Putting it on, Ariel comforted me. 'All of us will help you Paigey.' I smiled.. I still felt weak, but I believed my older sister.