Our destiny

It slipped out

The following two weeks were amazing. We met up every day and I spent a lot of night at Ellies apartment and she spent the rest at my house. We basically just weren't sleeping in one bed if one of us had to work late or get up very early. I can't spend a second without her. I feel like I'm addicted to her. Although we basically told each other every little detail about our lives, there is one thing I didn't tell her yet. I was scared of admitting it to myself for so long that it is still hard sometimes to tell people.

Tonight I once again sleep at Ellies apartment. We just spent a good few hours with sex. She has a wide range of toys at her apartment which is why I always enjoy to come here and try them out with her. I never used toys that much but it's actually very very hot.
I watch how she squirms under me as I harshly pump into her with the toy around my waist. She screams out as I make her come. It feels amazing to see this and satisfy her like this with my movements. I pull out of her and remove the toy so I can lay down next to her. I hear her panting and she strokes her hair from her forehead.

"Wow. I could have sex with you the entire day and I would never get tired of it." She says under her breath. I have to chuckle at that.

"I could make that work." I cuddle up to her side and wrap my arm around her. I draw tiny circles on her naked stomach. I feel her leaning her head to the side slightly while I kiss her cheek. I pull up the blanket over us and press my skin against hers as close as possible.

"Your skin feels so good." Ellie mumbles.

"Do you want to put on some clothes again or do you want to sleep naked?" I ask with my lips on her cheek.

"I prefer you naked." She says. I move my head down a bit more and cuddle into her chest. I smell at her neck and enjoy her scent. We just lay like this. Our legs are tangled up, her arm is around me and I hold her by her waist. I think now is the time to tell her about my endometriosis. This situation is cosy and I feel safe. I know she won't judge me but I still fear that she will. 

"There is something I didn't tell you before." I start.

"You have a child?"

"What? No." I laugh a bit. I like how she wants to make me more relaxed with that. She probably feels that I am nervous.

"Okay good."

"I have endometriosis." I just say it. I don't move until she says something. She stays quiet for a moment and I already get scared.

"I don't want to sound stupid but what exactly does that mean? It is something related to your period right?" She asks after a while. She sounds calm and sweet while talking.

"Yes. It basically means that my periods are pretty heavy. I have bad cramps and sometimes can't do anything. I just got diagnosed two years ago and now I need to take pills before my period. I was always scared to tell people about it because I don't want them to think that I'm weak or vulnerable. I didn't want you to see me any different because of it. That is why I didn't tell you." I say. I feel so scared that I might lose her to this.

"I would never think you are weak because of something like this. I'm sorry that you have to go through this. Is there something I can do?"

"No. I just want you to know so you are not surprised if I might not be able to do anything at some point. There is also the possibility that I can't have children. I don't want to rush anything and have the baby talk now but I want you to know."

"Don't worry about all that. I will do my best to help you."

"I sometimes feel pain during sex as well."

"Were you ever in pain when we had sex?" She immediately asks and I think I hear a bit of fear in her voice.

"No. It was always amazing." I say. I never felt pain with her and it doesn't happen very often.