Our destiny

Flower market

Today is training day and I'll go to the flower market with Ellie in the afternoon. Since our first kiss, I feel like I am a lot more happy. I'm constantly smiling and my heart feels warm every time that I think about kissing her. The fact that it isn't just a dream anymore makes me so happy. I also really like the idea of going to a flower market. It is such a romantic date idea. We try to see each other as much as we can but we still can't manage to see each other every day. I've fallen so much in love with her that I can't even be without her for a day. I call her every evening just to hear her voice for once.

We are out on the pitch today and do our usual dibbling and passing training. I am mainly thinking about the afternoon with Ellie but still I do insanely well today. Every pass is perfect and I dribble around everything. Jonas sends me a proud nod.

"What's up with you? You are so smiley today. You look like a whole new person." Beth punches my side as she walks next to me. I knew I just couldn't hide my happiness. I want to tell everyone. I wish I could shout from the rooftops how much I love her.

"I'm just very happy." I smile at the ground.

"Maybe because of a certain woman?" Beth laughs. She knows exactly why I am so happy. I think everyone knows by now.

"Who do you mean?" I tease a bit.

"Your American lover girl." Beth says. It sounds so ridiculous when she says it like that.

"She isn't my lover girl. That sounds like a one night stand." I say. She is so much to me but definitely not a one night stand.

"Do you love her?" Beth asks. I definitely do. I don't know what else this feeling should be.

"I think so." I have to smile again.

"So what did she do that you are suddenly so happy?"

"She kissed me." I finally reveal it.

"On the lips?"

"Yes." I nod almost like I am proud of myself for that.

"And how was it? Although I'm pretty sure I already know the answer." She laughs.

"It was amazing. I couldn't stop kissing her for the entire evening after it happened."

"You slept there?"

"Yes, I came to help her build up her furniture that day." I say.

"So the kiss was kind of like a reward for you building up her stuff." Beth chuckles.

"Could be."

"Did she also give you another reward in the night?" She asks with a smirk. I knew that this question would come.

"We didn't have sex. I want the first time to be special and not rush it. We are not even together." I say a bit more quiet. I don't want everyone to hear it.

"You are so cheesy. Just fuck her already." I roll my eyes at her. I don't like it when she says it like that. I don't want to fuck her. I want to love her.

"Don't say it like that." I say since it feels disrespectful to talk about her like that.

"Why are you not together? Don't you both know that you love each other? She even kissed you and you kissed her back." She asks. I don't know why we are not together. We never really talked about our feelings for each other. I just assume that she is feeling the same since she was the one who kissed me. She held my hand in the cold stadium and she always flirted with me.

"We never really talked about it."

"Then do. Tell her what you feel because everyone can see it anyway. She must be blind if she didn't already see how much you've fallen for her." Beth says. I think I blush at that. I get a bit shy when talking about stuff like that. Maybe that is why I can't really tell her how much I actually like her. I just can't talk about my feelings. I get nervous when looking at her and she makes me lose my words.