"So you want Mc Donalds midnight snacks for everyone?" I ask again. We are sitting at our kitchen island for a while already and trying to note everything down that we want at our wedding. We will then get us a wedding planer since this will be too much for us.
"Yeah. I saw it online and it looked so cool. Everyone loved it." Ellie says. I'm not convinced by that idea.
"But shouldn't we make a more formal thing. Like small sandwiches or something."
"We have a formal dinner already. This is the party and everyone will be drunk anyway." She says. Fair point.
"I hope you won't be that drunk. I need you being aware of what I will do to you in the night. Which leads us back to the venue question." I say. We have been arguing about the venue a lot since Ellie wants a big thing in the country side and I would much rather have something smaller. I don't want this to be too big. It could basically just be me and her and I would be happy.
"Look at this." She shows me a picture of a big house that looks a bit like a castle. It looks good but too much for me.
"I think that's a bit too much."
"But it's our wedding. We can make a big deal out of it. This will be a once in a lifetime experience." She says trying to convince me.
"I don't want something so big because I feel like it doesn't fit me. This isn't about the surrounding for me. It's just about you. I want to focus on you and not so much on the venue." I try to explain.
"Are you saying that I wouldn't think like that just because I want a big wedding?" She asks.
"No. I just tell you why I think we should keep it smaller." I say in a calm voice so I don't upset her.
"I also want to focus on you but I can focus on you with a nice venue around us. I've been dreaming about a wedding like this all my life." She says. I want to give her her dream wedding but I also don't want to put my own wishes completely to the side.
"I know and I want you to have that but I also want to have a wedding that I like. This is both our wedding. Not just yours."
"I know, Leah. But you want to get married in a barn and I don't want that." She says a bit more angry now.
"I never said that. I just want it smaller."
"Yeah and I don't so one of us has to bend." She says.
"And you expect me to do so, right?" I say. She always does that. She doesn't say anything. I see that she is angry but now I also get angry. "That's what it's always like."
"What?"
"I always step back for you. I always say yes and put you first so you are happy." I say.
"That's your choice. Don't do it if you don't want to." She snaps. This is getting uncomfortable now.
"Why don't you do something like this for me once? I'm tired of giving up my wishes for you. I matter as well." I say now louder. Ellie looks a bit confused.
"Are you seriously yelling at me because of this?"
"Yes I do. You don't take it seriously. You don't even get how this feels. It feels like you don't care about me and just always expect me to make room for you. You never put me first. You always put yourself first." I get up at this point. I don't want to yell at her even more.
"What are you doing now?" Ellie asks a bit scared. I go and put my shoes on. The fear on Ellies face gets more.
"I'm going to get some fresh air." I just say and grab my keys. I don't want to get more angry and yell at Ellie for longer.
"But you will come back, right?" She asks. I don't answer. I just leave. In the end I will probably come back. Just as always. Because I'm stupid I will probably be the one to apologise later.
I go and sit outside in front of our house. I don't even go and walk around. I just sit down and think. I feel that I'm angry and disappointed. I just want to marry her without all this stuff. I don't want to think about that. I don't get why she can't get that. I just want her to say that she is doing something for me for once. I always do that and I'm tired of never getting the same in return. I want her to understand that. This day should be the best day for both of us. I also still need my dress. I can't even think about that now. This is all so stressful. I want to calm down. I don't want us to fight because of something like this. I just wish we could find a solution but I can't think of anything.
After a while of sitting around and doing nothing, I decide to go back inside but I won't apologise. I unlock the door and go inside again. I don't see Ellie anywhere. She isn't coming for the door. I also don't hear noises. Her laptop is still standing on the kitchen island and even her half full glass of water is still there but she isn't. Where is she?
I go check the bathroom but can't find her there either. Then I check the bedroom and finally hear some noises. It sounds like quiet sobs. I slowly open the door. Ellie is sitting in bed and I think she is crying. She looks up and her face changes to a bit more hope. I go over to her and sit at the edge of the bed. I don't want her to cry because of this.
"Why are you crying?" I lay my hand on her knee. Ellie moves up and wraps her arms around me. She tightly hugs me while sniffing.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Le. I didn't know that I make you feel like that and I don't want you to feel like you wouldn't matter to me. I care about your wishes and I want you to have the wedding of your dreams. We can do it how you want to. You decide. I just want to marry you." She says while not letting go of me. I also wrap my arms around her. This hug feels so good right now. I give her a kiss on the side of her head.
"I have an idea." I say.
"Yeah?" She lifts her head from my shoulder and looks at me.
"What about the Hill resort. I know they do weddings there. It's in the country side and not that big. It still looks great and a bit like a castle. They have much space for your guests from America to sleep there. And they also have big venues for eating and dancing." I say. This feels like the perfect place. It fits both our wishes at once.
"That sounds good to me." Ellie says while wiping a tear from her cheek.
"So our fight was completely unnecessary." I chuckle lightly.
"No, it wasn't because now I know how I made you feel and I don't want that. I want both of us to be happy when we are married. You can always tell me about your wishes and we will find a solution together. You don't have to agree to my suggestions." She says. I like that she says that. I have always been a person that easily says yes to everything but I want to change that.
"But you can have that Mc Donalds midnight snack if you promise me that you won't be too drunk to remember the night." I say.
"I won't. I want to remember every single second of marrying you." She says and lays her hand at my cheek. She leans forward and gives me a deep kiss.
"I love you." I say.
"I love you too." She says back. I'm glad we can share these words again. At least we know that putting in a wedding planer is definitely the right decision. I don't want to fight or worry so much because of this wedding. I want us to enjoy our last weeks before being married and the most important thing I want to enjoy every part of my wedding.
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A/n: This chapter was a bit shorter but the next one is going to very long since it will be the wedding chapter
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Our destiny
FanfictionLeah's mum has been dragging her into this circus show on a Wednesday evening. She really didn't want to go there because she would rather have go to karaoke with her friends. She wasn't interested in these dancing and acrobatics at all. That was un...
