madness and ecstasy // leo valdez

-ancient feminism club-

After the tunnel collapsed, Hazel wept and screamed like a two-year-old throwing a tantrum.

She couldn't move the debris that separated her and Leo from the others. If the earth shifted any more, the entire complex might collapse on their heads and they'd be back where they started, only dead this time. Still, she pounded her fists against the stones and yelled curses that would've earned her a mouth-washing with lye soap back at St. Agnes Academy, feeling her knuckles split and tears form in her eyes. She panted, panic clawing at her chest.

Leo stared at her, wide-eyed and speechless.

She wasn't being fair to him.

The last time the two of them had been together, she'd zapped him into her past and shown him Sammy, his great-grandfather—Hazel's boyfriend. She'd burdened him with emotional baggage he didn't need and left him so dazed they had almost gotten killed by a giant shrimp monster.

Now here they were, alone again, while their friends might be dying at the hands of a monster army, their other friends waiting in hell, Teqi, waiting in hell, and she was throwing a fit.

"Sorry." She wiped her face and patted down her hair, sniffling.

"Hey, you know... I've attacked a few rocks in my day," Leo shrugged. He grimaced at the dark stone around them, fingers drumming on his toolbelt. "And been trapped under them."

She swallowed with difficulty. "Frank is...he's—"

"Listen," Leo said, and his voice cracked. It was still gravelly, like he'd been smoking for thirty years. "Frank Zhang has moves. He's probably gonna turn into a kangaroo and do some marsupial jujitsu on their ugly faces."

He helped her to her feet. Despite the panic simmering inside her, she knew Leo was right. Frank and the others weren't helpless. They would find a way to survive, mainly because they had no other option, but they would be okay. They were together. The best thing she and Leo could do was carry on.

She studied Leo. He had more scars, as they all did, and his face was leaner, so he looked less like an imp and more like one of those willowy elves in the fairy tales Gwen really liked. He was wearing one of Teqi's hoodies, with a comic book style girl in purple with a golden retriever. There was ash and soot staining parts of his volcano looking skin. The biggest difference was his eyes. They were dull, even when he smiled.

"Leo. I'm sorry," she said.

He raised an eyebrow, his hands in the pockets of the hoodie. "Okay... For what?"

"For..." She gestured around her helplessly, but they were only in a cold hollow cave. It didn't mean a lot. "Everything. For thinking you were Sammy and making it weird, and going in your memories, and-"

"Hey." He reached out and squeezed her hand. "Machines are designed to work."

"What."

"I figure the universe is basically like a machine. I don't know who made it, if it was the Fates, or the gods, or capital-G God, or whatever. But it chugs along the way it's supposed to most of the time. Sure, little pieces break, and stuff goes haywire once in a while, but mostly...things happen for a reason. Like all of us meeting."

"Leo Valdez," Hazel marvelled, tilting her head, "you're a philosopher."

"Nah," he said with a shrug. "I'm just a mechanic. But I figure my bisabuelo Sammy knew what was what. He let you go, Hazel. My job is to tell you that it's okay. We're gonna get through this. And I hope we all get to a chance to be happy. Together. Besides... Zhang couldn't tie his shoes without your help."