Ain't Shady Baby, I'm Hot

15

"I can get through."

"What?" John B looked at Kie and I, "No, no. No, no. You think you're gonna fit through the hole?"

"I sure as hell ain't making it." I chirped, "but Kie could."

"Look, this is about your dad. And honestly, I really don't believe in it, but you deserve to know the truth. And like Xena said, it's the lack thereof." I grinned from behind Kie, John B making eye contact with me long enough for me to see the sparkle of hope relit.

"I'll do it. Can you help me?" We were moving quickly. I dropped to my knee and made a step for her, the boys grabbed her light and the dry roots blocking the hole.

"Ready?" I asked Kie as she hiked her foot on my thigh.

"Remind me what we're looking for?" We both looked at John B for his answer, one we probably both knew already.

"You'll know when you see it." Kie sighed, looking at me one more time.

"Climber up?" I asked her getting my hands ready to lift her higher if need be.

"Climber up." I grunted slightly as she pushed off the ground, my leg firm as she used it to help push herself up and into the hole.

"Okay, flashlight." She called out, clearly on the other side.

"Uh guys, how is she gonna get back out?" I asked as we passed the flashlight to her.

"Um..." Pope shrugged. "We'll get there when we get there."

"You alive? You got like a- a heartbeat and everything?" John B asked cause us all to look at him.

"You're fucking whipped." I hissed as we all turned to hear her response.

"So far." Her echoe reached us as we saw light move around inside.

"Uh, I need some more light."

"Give her your lantern." I suggested pointing to John B. His arm rising and slipping through a crack in the rock.

"Did you, uh, find something?" JJ asked as we all just stood around waiting. "Is it gold?"

"Oh my God." My eyes widened as she went silent after saying that.

"Uh, Kie, Babe, why did you go silent on us?" I spoke to the stone wall as I thought about what would happen if she wasn't okay. "Kie?"

We heard crinkling before a FedEx package was pushed through the crack with John B's arm.

"Holy shit, this is from my dad." My eyes widened as I looked at John B, then turned to Kie as she poked her head through the hole.

"Some help?" I rushed over and helped get her out of the hole. JJ stepping away as he went to light another joint.

"Uh-oh. Code red. Code red. Square groupers! Square groupers!" JJ whisper-yelled as he turned and ran behind the mausoleum. The rest of us following.

I kept my hands ready to draw my gun if I needed. The non-lethal bullets fully restocked. And I had two backup clips.

"Lights!" Kie hissed, everyone making quick work of their lights- except John B who couldn't work his lamp.

"John B, your light!" Kie hissed at him.

"For fuck sake, B." I seethed as I peered around the corner, JJ at my hip as he held onto my waist to keep himself from falling.

"I see something." My eyes widened as I heard the voice come from the golf cart, I turned my head slightly as I tried to look past the headlights.

"Homies got a gun." JJ whispered, I went to argue but Kie had made up her mind.

"Screw this." She clicked her light back on and took off. John B right behind her, his lamp still in his shirt.

"Guys," I hissed as the group had taken off. JJ leaving me with a pat to my hip and a quick 'move it cupcake'.

I rolled my eyes but followed after the four, my jog relaxed as I let them panic.

"Hurry!"

"Go! Go!"

"Come back here!" I nearly laughed when I looked behind us to see the men driving after us. We made it to the gate. John B, JJ and Kie all clearing it as Pope and I were last. I waited a second, tucking my borrowed flashlight in my jacket pocket, before sprinting and catching onto the top of the metal gate. With a tug and a quick kick to the vertical poles, I was up and balancing at the very top of the gate.

Something Pope was struggling to do.

"Guys! Xena, I'm stuck!" He hissed as I found his pants caught on a spire.

"Pope," I rotated and started descending the gate, Pope still holding himself up at the top. "You need to go back up and unlatch them."

"Pope come on!" JJ called as John B ran over. While I tried to help Pope keep his shorts, John B wasn't as kind.

"No, wait, you're gonna rip it, you're gonna rip them!" Pope called out, I turned not able to watch as John B yanked him free of the gate. Pope's shorts blowing in the wind.

"You're fine, come on." Kie called out. Her laugh following at the sight.

"Nice! Come on, dude." They taunted as we all ran to the Twinkie.

"It's a little Tootsie Roll." John B teased.

"Knock it off you guys." I tried to stay above the situation but when I turned and saw the two gravediggers looking up at the shorts.

"Stupid." I laughed as we pulled away. "Those were the gravediggers."

"What? Why didn't you say anything." My jaw hung open as I turned in the front seat.

"I tried but I was stopped by JJ, tapping me on the hip and making a run for it following you and John B." I stuck my tongue out at Kie as she rolled her eyes.

"You're saying I could have kept my shorts?" I let out a belly laugh as I unzipped my hooded jacket and threw it at him.

"Consider this compensation."