Ain't Shady Baby, I'm Hot

62

"Whoa, Wifey you look like shit." I narrowed my eyes at JJ as I walked up to him and the other two guys at the HMS Pogue.

"I didn't sleep well. Thanks for the compliment." I grumbled as I climbed into the boat.

"I knew we'd get you to come." John B said trying to lift my mood.

"Yeah." I set my backpack down as I sat down.

"Uh," the three boys shared a look as Pope came and sat next to me, "are you okay?" I looked up after Pope then over to the other two.

"I'm fine guys. I just didn't sleep well. Yesterday was a long day at work." I cracked a smile. "I'm not on shark week if y'all were wondering."

"Thank God." I saw JJ let go of the breath he was holding making me roll my eyes at his antics.

"Goons. Now, let's go save two damsels who probably want to cause some distress." I voiced patting the side of the boat.

"Aye, aye, captain." I rolled my eyes at John B. I turned to face Pope who was still staring at me. His eyes calculating as I bumped him with my elbow.

"Don't worry about me. I'll be alright. I always am." I gave him a beaming smile, one that eased him only slightly. But his shoulders sagged and he returned my expression. His elbow bumping me back.

"I'm here if you need me."

"Thanks Pope."

________•*•*•*•________

The boys and I rolled in as the sun lit up the marsh in an orange glow. The two girls were sitting on the back of Heyward's boat as we cruised toward them.

"Uh-oh!" Pope called standing to his feet.

"You forget your keys or something?" I shook my head as I came to stand up beside John B at the wheel who seemed proud of his comment.

"You need a tow?" Pope called out as we slowly moved forward.

"You gotta admit it was kinda funny." John B spoke as we finally reached the boat. The girls not looking at us as they stared behind us. I let out a laugh making them turn to see me with the boys.

"Xena, really?"

"Whoa, I had nothing to do with this."

"She's lying. Whole idea was hers." I popped John B in the back of the head.

"You lyin' ass." I pointed a finger at him.

"I don't even know if I can call this patriarchal bullshit." Kie voiced.

"You can. These three goons were running the scheme." I held my hands up innocently.

"That sucked." Sarah chimed in as her and Kie both stood. "But there was no way the guys were the masterminds."

"Yeah, with all offense intended, this entire thing was way too calculated. Details even down to the food packed."

"Shit. Fine, I helped them set it up. But trust me, it was all them from there." I admitted watching as the two girls rolled their eyes at me.

"You still love us though, right?" JJ asked as he came and leaned against me, his elbows on my shoulders no doubt giving them a cheeky grin.

"Yeah, whatever." Kie grumbled clearly acting. John B cut the engine as JJ tossed Kie a rope to tie us together.

"Hey, you still hate me?" John B asked Sarah as he propped his feet up.

"A little. We're both gonna get you back when you least expect it. All four of you."

"Ladies, please, we can talk this out. I'll help you plan revenge?" I offered.

"Watch your back, boys." Kie stated coming back to stand beside Sarah. I turned around and stuck my tongue out at John B. "Xena, don't think you're off the hook either." John B stuck his tongue back out at me.

"I for one welcome that challenge." Pope piped up.

"Me too." JJ added.

"So, did you guys, you know.." Pope trailed off.

"Reconcile our differences?" Kie asked while Sarah shook her head, a noise of disagreement following. "Not even close."

"But, we're willing to work together."

"You know what? That's victory." John B said as he and JJ high-fived.

The three boys made a triangle around me as they did their little "woggity-woggity-woggity!" Thing that made me laugh.

The blond slipped his arms around me and gave me a hug as John B asked for a fist bump. I relented and JJ laughed.

"You know why? Hydroponic." I scoffed at JJ.

"Don't say that." Pope quickly shut him down making me smile.

"Alright, shut up. You guys ready to jack some loot?" I saw the smiles peel onto the two girls faces as Kie stood up on the ledge.

"Yeah." She said laughing as she jumped onto the boat, Sarah right behind her with a quick 'yep' in agreement.

"Let's get it." JJ spoke, moving around to untie us from the larger boat.

I found myself walking up to the two girls who both had their arms crossed and eyebrows raised.

"Whoa." I rose my hands playfully as I stopped in front of them. "I was coming with a peace offering." I grabbed the two candy bars from my backpack and offered them to the girls. They shared a glance before accepting the bars.

"Only because we don't hate you." I grinned at Kie's words.

"I'll take what I can get." I moved back towards the boys and leaned against the control console.

"I've sedated them with chocolate. But don't be surprised if they surprise attack any of y'all." I joked my face a mask of seriousness as Pope leaned in from the other side.

"What signs of aggression should we look for?" He continued the ploy as John B rolled his eyes, JJ grinning as he watched.

"Devious smiles, maybe even a smirk or two. An overfriendly tone lace with dark intent,"

"Uh, Xena, we can hear you." I slowly turned my head to glance at the two before turning back to Pope. Faking fear as I looked at him wide eyed.

"Crikey, I've said too much." My voice dropped to a husky whisper, "but sass, sass is the first sign of danger."

Pope mimicked me as we both turned our heads to look at Kie and Sarah before looking back at each other.

Our laughter breaking our scene as the other four rolled their eyes. A smile on everyone's lips as Pope and I cackled so hard I was starting to cry.

I was exhausted which also equaled delirious laughter to arise at any given moment.

Meaning I was clutching my stomach and wiping my eyes as John B roasted me for my Australian accent. And JJ kept the antics up by asking questions on how to protect one's self against them and Pope's response of:

"Nothing can save you once their claws sink in."