Ain't Shady Baby, I'm Hot

60

His chuckle shut me up as he finally pulled me upright, his large hands slowly slipping from my waist. I kept my eyes firmly pointed at his own.

"Am I making you flustered?" He stepped closer my own foot lifting in an effort to step back, but my pride suddenly returned as I put my foot back down. I was not moving while Rafe Cameron got close enough for me to have to lift my head back.

"Kiss my ass, Cameron." I finally found words that didn't sound like a schoolgirl. However, it only made him smirk.

"Was that a command or a request?" His eyebrows wiggled and I nearly dropped my jaw.

"Get- get out of here. Put some clothes on." I spoke, my tone getting more confident as I pulled my gaze to the guest bedroom door behind him.

"You didn't answer me." He sang leaning backwards as he took a step away.

"And I won't, Perv."

"Whoa, you're the one who told me to kiss your ass." I glared at him as he leaned backwards on the door.

"It's an expression!" I groaned starting to go to my own room, "jerk." I murmured as I slipped inside and made my way to my closet to grab something else to wear for pajamas.

I once again sprinted into the bathroom, thankful the guest bedroom was closed. An agitated groan leaving my lips as I dove into the room that enveloped me with his scent. I pushed the lock in before turning to face myself in the mirror. My hair was still damp and my clothes still had aftermath of soap and sink on them.

My eyes falling upon my own as I thought. My mind taking off in a sprint as I went through the motions.

It was funny.

Kie and Sarah were out on the marsh. Hopefully reconnecting and reconciling their differences. Or at least calling it a truce.

Rafe and I were here. In the middle of a truce. One that probably wouldn't last. And we were definitely milking it. Right?

I'd never felt like my skin would melt due to an inferno underneath. Or my stomach clench due to one thought or action. I had never danced as we did in the living room tonight; slow, relaxed, completely open-vulnerable.

I'd been in romantic relationships. Two real ones and a few flings that never lasted long due to various factors. The first was back in Texas. He'd been my middle school crush. And in high school we had started dating.

I gave him two years of my time only to find out he'd been playing me like a puppet. And honestly, the breakup made it easier on me. Gave me a reason to not want anything to do with my old friends because they were also fake.

The second was Donovan. He was the furthest I'd gone with physically. But nothing more than macking as the Pogues like to say. And after the video Rafe and shown me, I was glad.

The few flings I've had here were all for shits and giggles. Maybe a date or two, maybe I met them at a party. But they never lasted any longer.

So me, flying completely blind with Rafe right now was probably the bravest thing I'd done. Or the dumbest. I didn't see us getting anywhere romantically. How could I?

But, it's fun, pretending. And he's pretty good at it. But I guess that shouldn't surprise me. Knowing him this will all become another thing to poke fun of.

I set my head on the shower wall. The water cascading down my back.

"What are you doing, kid?" I whispered. My mind flashing with images of John B, JJ, Kie, and Pope.

All of this would come around. And it would bite me in the ass. There wouldn't be a way to stop it.

My head seemed to enjoy scolding me as my heart seemed to lay all of its cards down. The only thing left to turn to was my gut, and she wasn't talking.

Rafe and I agreed we'd pretend for a little more. And then we'd go back to normal. It's what was best.

He'd go back to Figure Eight. Drink, get high, gloat about his money, be an arrogant asshole.

I'll go back to my Pogues. Trespass, train, work, go treasure hunting, and be a protective hardass.

We'd go back to the regularly scheduled arguments, the sporadic fights, the intense glares, the hatred. Back to square fucking one.

I wiped the towel across my face as I stared up at myself in the mirror.

"It's what's best." Though it seemed I was trying to reassure myself. "This whole thing shouldn't have happened." I whispered as I slipped my tank top and sweatpants on.

I shouldn't have opened that door. I shouldn't have taken him in. I shouldn't have let myself drop my walls. I should have kept him at a distance. I shouldn't have asked my questions. Because now, I'm worried this version of us is in too deep. I'm worried this version of me is in too deep.

And between my head and my heart, without my instinct to guide me- I'm at a loss. A tug of war.

Two things pulling at the other. Pogues and Kooks. My friends and Rafe. Logic and emotion. Past and future.

I stared at the wood door in front of me. My heart racing as my mind grew louder. My hand rested on the door handle as I pressed my forehead against the door. Frustration oozing from my temples as I tore through my mind.

"What is happening?" I let out a sad laugh. My eyes shutting as I realized that these past twenty-four hours may have been among my favorite. And it wasn't like anything spectacular, well other than the two of us sitting in the same room without fighting, happened.

We were civil, tolerant, relaxed. I might go as far as saying we were friendly.

Who knows, maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and find myself asleep on the couch with my book over my eyes and this was all just a dream.