Soulless

Six | Birthday plans

Lunden Evergreen

I shut the textbook in front of me and began to pack my bag as the lecture concluded. I was free, and today was a more exciting day—one I usually hated. Yet, I finally made plans for myself.

I stood swinging my backpack on my back and filed into the line to place my book back impatiently, "What are you doing for the birthday today?" I heard Dax's question as I reached the desk. I glance at him, annoyed.

"I saw the birthday text from a person named Donna?" Rolling my eyes, I placed the book down on the desk, and my eyes met Dr. Thayers. I paused for a moment, then dusted off the book and turned back to Dax.

"I spend it alone, and for good reason." I tighten the straps on my backpack and turn on my heels, following other students out the door.

"Isn't that kind of... well, you know, sad?" He notes.

"Not for me; I love it, and it's better than spending it with people who just ruin it. I can't ruin my own birthday if the expectation is me by myself at a bar cheering to twenty-one." I was officially legal to drink alcohol, and Eleanor was still twenty. Which means I was the only legal one to go out.

"Well... I'll spend it with you. " I looked at him, surprised by his bold offer.

"Who says I want to spend it with someone, let alone you?" He shrugged slightly.

"Never said you did, but figured I'd offer?" I knew I wanted tonight to be alone. But maybe I'd counter his offer with another one.

"How about we get drinks this weekend in celebration?" He pauses for a moment in thought and after analyzing his options. He comes to his senses, recognizing this as his best one.

"Deal," he shook hands with me as I composed myself. "Happy Birthday, Lunden." I smiled with appreciation as he walked away, and I headed back to my dorm. I enjoyed my birthday because it was just me.

I wouldn't lie; some birthdays were harder than others. But I broke it down to be a mentality thing. Spending the day with my parents meant judgment and even more sadness. But the day alone meant freedom and splurging on myself. At 9 p.m., I'd stop off at my favorite bake shop, where a cupcake with a pre-lit candle waited for me. But a bar was calling my name prior.

I rushed back to my dorm, and as the clock neared five, I began getting ready. My evening would begin at my favorite Italian restaurant in town, at a table for one, followed by me at a bar with my tequila. I couldn't wait; it was the one day of the year that was just about me.

I had no expectations or tasks at hand. On October 2nd, I allowed myself the day off. It was a day just for myself, and nobody could complain about it.

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I finish my chicken parmigiana and smile at the empty plate in delight. It sat comfortably in my stomach as I enjoyed my quiet and peaceful dinner with me and my book. I do wish I had Eleanor come, but then I would've felt guilty kicking her out to barhop.

I felt like an independent woman in a sense. I was able to do things by myself and on my own, creating my own expectations as a woman rather than being told what to do.

I paid the bill, folded up the napkins, and topped off my martini. It was my first drink at a restaurant I'd purchased. It felt surreal in a way—no more fake ID, and now I was truly my age.