Soulless

Thirty Eight | Count your days

TW: MENTIONS OF ABUSE & SA

Lunden Evergreen

Verena was looking at me weirdly, almost as if she was nervous. I knew that scrambled eggs didn't make her freak out and she didn't have a fear of toast or berries. So I didn't know what was bothering her at breakfast.

She tried to hide it as she started to notice me staring. But I knew something was up and recently I needed communication. Because if I'm not in the loop, I don't know what to watch out for. Then in the end I get hurt.

I'd reminded them of that recently. It had been a month since his birthday and no recent news. Verena had nothing to report back on Eleanor after getting the flowers. Maybe she did truly believe it was Dakota Johnson.

She'd told me my mother was broken up about it, and I honestly missed her. I was over half way done with my pregnancy, it was coming to quickly. Josie was wondering what I'd be naming it, and I honestly had no idea.

But Atlas was excited the most and it almost cracked me up. For such a cranky guy he already ordered and started setting things up for the nursery. He always asked for my input and there were things I'd changed. But it seemed like his thing he wanted to do.

But I did choose the wall paper, it was white with navy sketches of woodland animals. Something that had a simple but elegant theme to it, I didn't want beige anywhere near that room either which he understood.

But as it was coming closer it really hit me that I was going to have an actual baby. Now I knew that I'd be a mother to a child, but I didn't think about the baby itself, just when it's a toddler.

The only baby I'd ever held was Josie when she was born and growing up. But Verena assured me I'd be okay, she knows my anxiety gets the best of me. But now with her looking at me like this, I was sure something had been wrong.

"Did you see me earlier this morning with my boob?" With that she drops her fork to her plate in confusion, "I know you saw me and acted like you didn't, but I was scared and I stared at it in the mirror because there was mil-"

"No" She quickly cuts me off, "Though I will say... your boobs do look great, I walked into your room unexpectedly. I've seen your boobs before there was nothing, weird" She brushes it off, but I didn't ever recall me showing her my boobs.

"What cameras do you have on me?" With that she goes for the orange juice and quickly chugs it down. As if she's bracing herself for the conversation.

"Well... I wasn't spying on you. It was just your mother's house where I installed camera's and then I installed one in your backyard... I saw you through the bathroom window one night, was alerted of movement" She got a show instead, that meant she probably saw all of me.

"Listen, we don't have to make this awkward and there is something I need to tell- it's not about that I assure you."

"Then what the hell is going on" She looked down to her food again, she was about to scarf it all down in avoidance, "I swear if you pick up that fork and avoid me..." Sighing she moves her chair back and stands.

"Follow me," Her voice is softer than before and we moved through the kitchen and go towards the study. The hardwood floor left my feet colder than usual on a hot summers day and it was scorching hot at the end of July heat.