Soulless

Twenty Nine | Scariest Room

Lunden Evergreen

The scariest room in the world is much different than you'd expect. Well, it wasn't the same for everyone, everyone had their own version of the scariest room.

Some were full of monsters, some filled with nightmares and this one was brochures. The walls were a lighter green and the chairs were exactly what you'd expect, some ugly patched patterns that were semi-comfy. But the floor was cold and the only thing to look at was the massive blue sign on the wall.

My feet tapped against the ground as my leg shook. A woman sat relaxed across from me, her situation different from mine from what it seemed. The place itself wasn't scary, it was hope, a beacon for women. But it was scary for me, for what the next moments held.

I hadn't spoken to him in five days. Two ghosts in the same home, he hadn't said a word. I was giving him his space, his time. I don't know what he's made his mind up of yet, if he still loves me or if he's sitting on the contact button of the FBI.

Will he turn around and arrest me or pin me down and kiss me? It was a dance of scenarios I played in my mind because I lived in fear. It only got worse, it only felt worse.

"Miss Evergreen?" My name is called as my hand is clutched to my seat as if it's my safety net. I don't feel like myself at this moment, and I need him, I want him. But I didn't have him anymore, it was just me.

I stand and approach the lady, she stands in purple scrubs and a smile.

"That's me" She nods and signals for me to follow behind her down the cold hallway.

"I'm Meagan, welcome to Planned Parenthood" She could sense my nerves, I was just twenty-one after all. I still felt like I had yet to fully adult, but at this moment I knew I had to be one, for my own sake.

The door opens to a beige room and she offers me a seat on a blue chair, "Just wait here for a few moments okay?" I nod, as my breathing slows. I was no longer the child I felt I was and I was no longer some teen, I was an adult and had to grow up.

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The doctor smiled at me as she handed me the pills. It's reassuring, it keeps me calm as I sit here alone, scared and feeling half-alive.

"Just take one a day and come back in on April 8th for a check-up to see if everything's okay" She squeezes my shaking hand in reassurance. I nod in response as I take a deep breath in.

"You won't tell anybody right?" My teeth jittered as I spoke, my eyes crowded with tears as I sat alone in this room. I feel her arms wrap around me tight.

"Not a soul dear, we follow HIPPA. This is a safe space for you Lunden, I'll see you in a month?" She pauses for a moment and then reaches for her phone as she stares at me.

"In case, just in case anything happens or you just need someone" She displayed her number on the screen and I took a picture of it.

"T-thanks Dr.Suade."

"It's Mellie" She stepped back, "You sure there isn't someone I can call, any supports" I looked down at the floor, the only one I'd want was him.

But he hates me and probably would even more now. I felt those same stinging tears fill my eyes.

"There is one person."