Soulless

Thirty | Yellow Farmhouse

Lunden Evergreen

The sun was finally out today, it was something I was grateful to see. The tulips around the town had bloomed and spring was officially here.

The temperature hit a mid fifties and the sun felt nice on my skin. I was now used to the clouds and rain, the mud was bad. I was expecting to hear reports about landslides, not where I was but in neighboring counties.

I barely knew my whereabouts here but I was learning the lay of the land. I watched as she rolled around in the fresh green grass. Her fur was matting by the second but it's been snow and mud for some time now.

"Allison!" I connect her leash and signal Pepper that it's time to move on, "Allison!" My false name is called again and when I look over I see him quickly biking over.

"Noah?" He presses the brakes and reaches into his basket for the local paper, yes people still read that here.

"Here is your copy, I know I missed you last week but that's because it's a new addition to my route and so... I apologize for that" He was one of the neighbor's boys, just about ten. But also known as the town paperboy, I'd met him at a cafe on my second day here.

He told me all about the newspaper and got me to give him three dollars a week. He'd gotten to everyone in the town, "On the house this week, because of last week."

"Hey I was lost, I didn't know the happening in the world Noland!" Rolling his eyes he hands me the paper and bikes off. I continue with the paper in hand for my walk. He'd just gotten out of school, it was a half day and this was his route home.

I should've been in school, yet I was here. Collecting a paper and walking to a middle school to pick up a girl I was nannying. I had all the money I could need, but this was different.

This was my first day on the job, and her parents needed the extra help. Allison Thayer checked out, I would always be right under his nose. It would always bother him, how I made it out, how we made it out that night.

The school came into view as the mountains viewed just behind it. It was more than gorgeous here, it was another life. I never yearned for the small-town life, but here I was achieving it.

The parent pick-up line was long. For some reason, I felt nervous, a moment I'd been waiting for. One I imagined hundreds of times over in my head.

Pepper barks in excitement causing children to look over. I dressed the part too, in dark blue jeans and a white sweater that hugged my body perfectly.  A teacher spots me and we both begin to make our way to each other.

"Hello, ma'am can I help you?" I nod.

"I'm here to pick up Josie Cowell, I'm her new nanny Allison Thayer" She looks at her clipboard and her finger stops at my name.

"Perfect, I'm her teacher, Mrs.Lovejoy. Can I see your ID please?" I reach into my pocket and pull it out. She glances at it and smiles, "Perfect, I'll be right out with her" She heads inside as my heart races.

Verena said I was only hurting myself by doing this. But I needed to see her, be here with her in some sort of way. Even if I was just a nanny to her, I was somebody. A new identity and life was gifted to me and in this version of my life, Josie would be back in it.