Unexpected love | Carlos Sainz Jr.

Chapter 16

Playlist while listening to the flashback
Better days - Dermot Kennedy
Break my heart - Rondé
All out of fight - P!nk

— Carlos POV —

I can't believe this is happening, I love the feeling of her lips against mine. I reach with my hand behind her neck to pull her in closer. I can stay like this forever.
'Why are you smiling?' Ella asked stopping our kiss, but still connecting our foreheads together.
'How did you know I was smiling?' God I just want to reconnect our lips again.
'You were smiling against my lips, I could feel it silly.' Ella smiles, however the smile didn't reach her eyes.

'Something on your mind Ella? You don't regret the kiss do you ?' I asked her, afraid of her response.
'What? No I don't regret it. It's just if I am completely honest I'm afraid off what this kiss does to me. You know I said I had my walls up, I'm just afraid you are tearing them down. And I know this really can't go anywhere. But I just really like spending time with you.' She was looking at the ground, tears forming in her eyes.

'Ella, do you maybe want to talk about it? We do have some time left before I have to get ready for the sprint race. It might be what you need to get it behind you. I'm really not the guy to just conquer a girl on every race I attend. This means something to me.' I see she is thinking about it.

'Fine, I will give you the story of how I got my heart broken' Ella says silently.

Flashback 1 year ago

I'm calling Derek for the 10th time today, he went out with friends yesterday. At 1 o' clock at night he texted, saying he was to drunk to drive home, so he wouldn't drive back. I immediately tried calling him but his phone was off.

The next day, we have dinner plans at my parents house, we have to be their at 3 in the afternoon. It is now 2.30 and not a word from Derek. He just keeps declining my calls, I really don't know what is going on with him lately. He changed the password on this phone, in all the years we had been together he never had any secrets for me. Don't know what changed that I wasn't allowed in his phone anymore. But he is the love of my life, so I trusted him with all my heart.

But lately it is becoming hard to do so, changing his password is one thing, but he never leaves his phone unattended. He often has work meetings that run really late. I don't know what to think of this.

Suddenly I get a text: 'sorry honey, I overslept won't be home in time, just go without me.'
What the fuck? I leave the house to have dinner with my parents. When I get home later that night Derek is already "sleeping", I really don't have the energy to fight. So I just pretend that I don't know he is awake.

The next morning he is up very soon to get ready for work, by the time I get down he already left. Suddenly I see he left his wallet on the table. So I pick it up to see if his drivers licence is still in it. Otherwise he has to come back to pick it up.

When opening the wallet the receipt of a spa resort falls out, it's from the day before. Clearly he didn't overslept at a friends house. His drivers license is also still their,  so I give him a quick call.
'Hi honey, what's up' he asks innocently, God I just want to punch him in the face.
'You left your wallet with your license at home, together with your receipt of your little spa trip.'

Compleet silence, 'Honey, I can explain, can we talk tonight?' I agree that we would discuss this tonight. It's hard for me to breath, it takes everything in me to wipe away my tears and head to work.

When I come home from work, Derek is already sitting at the table. Playing with his hand and looking down.
When I go in the living room he looks up and starts his speech of excuses.

'Honey it's not what you think, my colleague is just having a hard time so she just needed some relax time. She didn't have anyone else to talk to.'
I can't believe what l'm hearing, 'So your best defence is saying you went to a spa, where you don't where any clothes, with your female colleague to talk. You couldn't just go to diner? How big of an idiot do you think I am!' I can't control myself any more, so I just spat the words in his face. He is taken aback by my anger.
'No honey it's not that it's just we both needed to talk, with looking to buy a house everything is getting so serious between us. I'm just not sure if I want to spend the rest of my life with you.' He says without looking at me.

In that moment I can hear my heart shatter in a million pieces. After 10 years he isn't sure off me any more. 'If that is how you feel, and you also feel like you should discuss this with a colleague while naked, then I don't think their is much left to do.
That day I packed a bag and left.

I cried myself to sleep every night, during the day I did my best to not let this interfere with work. But I often started crying behind my desk. I was broken in a million pieces and I couldn't keep it together.
After that, we still had to split everything we had purchased together during all those years.

The week after that a mutual friend send me a text, saying they saw Derek with another girl. Derek said they worked together and where already seeing each other for half a year.