Out Of Reach [Completed]

05. Confession

Chapter 05. Confession

It was a fine new day, walang papa na bumungad sa akin sa umaga. At hindi nambuwisit sila Ella at Sam tungkol sa kung anong nangyayari sa buhay ko. I just had a coffee for our break and it was the most delicious coffee I have ever consume.

And it also made a noise in the entire eleven curriculum. . . 'yung pag add sa akin ng dalawang lalaki. Pero hindi ko iyon pinansin, they knew that we were partners. And they told me that I am so lucky, syempre sila lang. Kailan ba magiging matamis ang ampalayang si Kyrie.

Nang matapos na ang last subject namin, hinablot ko na ang bag ko at sumabay na kina Sam, Ella at Echo palabas. "Gusto ko mag milk tea," Sabi ni Sam habang iniinom ang juice na kinuha sa bag ni Ella.

"May iniinom ka na nga e," Wika naman ni Echo. I laughed at that. Kapag talaga nasa school ako, wala akong iniisip. Masaya ako rito, parang walang dinadala kapag umuuwi ng bahay.

School has been my comfort place ever since papa changed, kasama ko kasi lagi ang mga kaibigan ko at dito sa school, nakikita ko ang lalaking hindi ko maabot-abot. Si Rage.

"Rage?" Nanlaki ang mata ko at napatigil sa paglalakad. Napatingin ako sa gilid ng gate at nakita doon si Rage.

It was as if the world listened to my inner monologues, nakatayo lang ang lalaki, he was screaming elegance and freshness. Kahit na stressed ang lalaki ay mukha pa rin talaga itong mabango. He was wearing an earpiece and is carrying a book.

Tinulak naman ako ni Ella papalapit sa lalaki kaya wala akong nagawa. "Fernandez?" I tried to sound casual but I think I sound more rehearsed. Since he was calling me by my surname, I think I should do the same.

Nag-angat ng tingin ang lalaki. "Have you read my message?" Iyon ang pangbungad na tanong nito. Umiling naman ako agad. I fished my phone out of my pocket and checked it. May message nga ang lalaki.

Binuksan ko iyon at binasa.

Rage Augustrius Fernandez:
Let's meet and talk about the research, i'll be waiting at the gate.

Nang matapos basahin ay tinignan ko na ulit siya. He wiggled his eyebrows as if waiting for my response. "A-ah, oo tara na." Kinakabahan na ako, this seems like a date to me knowing na delusional ako.

"Mauna na ako guys, may gagawin lang kami." I told them. Malaki ang ngisi ni Ella, pinanliliitan naman ako ng mata ni Sam at tumango lang si Echo. It took them a minute before going on. Ayaw kong kami ang maunang umalis.

"Kidding aside, we're not going to talk about the research shit." He chuckled. Tangina naman, hindi na naman ako nakapag-record! "Come with me," Tumango lang ako sa kanya, it was nerve-wracking.

Watching his back is a dream, and now I am living that dream.

"Para po," Tumigil kami sa isang tabi at nagulat ako nang bigla niyang ipinara ang isang jeep. Sumasakay pala siya sa mga ganito? Nang huminto ang jeep sa harapan namin ay nauna siyang pumasok at pinasunod niya naman agad ako.

We sat there in silence. Marami ang nakatingin sa lalaki. Hindi naman kasi maipagkakailang napaka-lakas ng dating nito. Wala kang maipipintas sa mukha. Not long until we stopped right in front of a coffee shop.

He payed for our fare and went down.

Napatitig naman ako sa coffee shop, it was more like modern and cozy. May mga libro rin sa loob at konti lang ang tao. We went inside and took the seat that was far from the door to avoid disturbance. Parang ang importante ng sasabihin niya.

I couldn't be more thankful, this is more than what I have wished for.

Nang maupo kami ay nagkatinginan ang mga mata namin. "I'll get straight to the point," His eyes were smiling so as his lips. He was. . . happy? Hindi ko iyon madepina ng maayos pero para sa akin, ganoong ang ipinapakita ng lalaki.

"Can y-you help me?" He stuttered and paused for a while. "Sorry, I'm so bad at this," Straight to the point daw pero ganito ang mga sinasabi. Hope starts to rose from inside of my stomach, I could think of only one thing; him wanting me.

Hindi muna siya nagsalita at kinuha ang cellphone sa maliit na bag. Kitang kita ko kung paano kuminang ang mata ng lalaki habang may itina-type sa kanyang cellphone. He seems so happy and excited about the thing that he was going to say.

Naalala ko tuloy iyong unang beses ko siyang nakita.

We were in our tenth grade, he was a transferee that came from another prestigious school. He was the talk of the town because of his undeniable beauty, and of course, I need to check it out.

I went to their classroom, peaked in and saw the guy sitting so neatly in his chair. That was like—it sounds cringey but maybe a love at first sight. Simula noong nakita ko siya sa personal, madalas na akong bumisita sa classroom nila.

That was the reason why I met Ness and Nic.

Going back, palagi ko siyang tinititigan. At kadalasan ay nahuhuli niya akong nakatingin sa kanya. It wasn't as embarrassing as what they were saying, for me, it was such a lovely moment. To stare into the depths of his eyes.

There was a time where I couldn't catch him in their room, so I tried to check every place on the school just to get a glimpse of his eyes. I was about ro continue reminiscing but he broke it off. . .

"Pete. . ." He trailed off trying to get my attention back. Kumurap kurap naman ako. "Bakit?" I gave him my genuine smile, e-eto naba ang h-hinihiling ko gabi gabi? 

I've been looking at him as if he was a star, a star that brightens my day. He was the flower that was vibrant and screamingly beautiful that unfortunately, I couldn't smell. He was the voice that calms my entire being when I get sad, he was my her—

Sa isang iglap, parang naglaho ang lahat ng iyon. Para bang ang mundong ginawa ko na siya lang at ako ang tao ay parang gumuho, para bang ang lahat ng panalangin ko'y hindi natupad.

Nanlumo ang buo kong pagkatao, napabagsak bigla ang balikat ko, my smile immediately faded after hearing what he said. Ipinakita pa nito ang cellphone sa akin na mayroong pangalan niya. Bumakas agad sa mukha niya ang gulat marahil sa naging reaksyon ko.

Despite of him being this close, he was still out of my reach.

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