Out Of Reach [Completed]

08. Zach

Chapter 8. Zach

I never shed a tear after what happened.

Seeing him bringing flowers was a view that I have always dreamed. And seeing him giving it to a girl is a nightmare. Matapos ang nangyaring iyon ay madalas na kaming magkasama ni Zacharias.

Napabuga naman ako ng hangin.

Napakalapit ni Zach, pero hindi ko pa rin siya maabot. . . o kaya naman hindi ko siya sinusubukang abutin? Perpekto ang lalaki, kung ako ang titingin. Soft-spoken, caring and gentle. Wala ka ring maipipintas sa mukha.

Pero hindi ko pa rin malaman kung bakit hindi ko man lang magawang lagyan ng lugar ang lalaki sa puso ko. I am scared to admit that maybe, lumalalim na ang nararamdaman ko para kay Rage.

Hindi ko nakakalimutan ang mga magagandang ngiti ng lalaki kapag nagku-kwento, ang pagkislap ng kanyang mata kapag napapatingin kay Kyrie, kahit na hindi ako ang dahilan nun, tinanggap ko. Basta ba't kasama ko siya ay sapat na para mapakain ang mga matagal ko nang hiling.

Hinihiling ko ngang sana sa tagal nang panahon, si Zacharias naman.

Napakurap-kurap naman ako nang may bumalik sa utak ko. Rage is courting Kyrie. That was what my classmates has been talking about for the past days. Of course, that was already coming! Hindi lang ako nag-expect na ganoon pala talaga kagusto ng lalaki to the point na liligawan niya agad agad.

"Anak, kantahan mo nga ako," She went near me and embraced me while we were sitting on the sofa. Hinaplos haplos niya rin ang buhok ko habang niyayapos ako. "Pagod na pagod na ako anak," She is almost whispering. . . halata ang antok sa boses.

Mama works as a call center agent and also works as a part time waitress in a known restaurant. Napaka-sipag ni Mama. Sigurado akong mas todo ang kayod niya ngayong hindi na namin mahagilap saan napunta si Papa.

He went a different way. Without us.

Kada uwi niya gabi gabi, lasing siya. Minsan ay diretsong natutulog at minsan ay nakikipag-away pa. Mabuti nalang at hindi na pinapatulan ni Mama. Tumikhim ako para ihanda ang boses.

I started singing, "I got my red dress on tonight, dancin' in the dark, in the pale moonlight, done my hair up real big, beauty queen style, high heels off, I'm feelin' alive," Singing has been my talent ever since. I won several singing competitions back in the days.

Malamig, malambot at masarap sa tenga ang boses ko. Iyon ang sabi nila. My favorite go to songs are from Lana Del Rey. Sa kanya kasi bumabagay ang boses ko, specially her summertime sadness. Ang mga nagpanalo sa akin noon.

I continued singing, "Oh, my God, I feel it in the air, telephone wires above are sizzlin' like a snare honey, I'm on fire, I feel it everywhere, nothin' scares me anymore," I sang it as if I was singing a lullaby. Yakap ko pa rin si Mama. She was breathing heavily.

Nakakatulog na si Mama. Before she could even fell asleep, I let her lay on the sofa.

Dahil nga sabado ngayon, I just swept the floor and cooked food for our lunch. Nag-prito lang ako ng hotdog at itlog. That's the only thing that I am capable of. Hays. Ngayong hindi na ako nakatira sa bahay nila Lola, dapat ay matuto na akong gumawa ng mga gawaing bahay.

I started cleaning and washing the dishes, then I watered our flowers outside. Dahan dahan ng sumasakit ang likod ko, I have always been the kind of kid who just sit in the corner while everyone was moving. I wasn't interested in learning doing chores because I solely rely on our yaya's before.

Napahiga ako sa bermuda grass dahil sa pagod. I just stared at the cloudy skies. Uulan na rin siguro maya-maya. It was so sudden, but my mouth just moved on its own. Singing one of my favorite song, rewrite the stars.

Sa paanong paraan nga ba pwede nating mabago ang mga bituwin? Sa paanong paraan natin pwedeng itama ang mga tugmang ginawa? Hindi na nga talaga iyon mangyayari. Things shouldn't be force.

Before the sky could release its tears, I immediately went inside our house. Because of wanting to just go directly to my room, I wasn't able to appreciate our house—no, our home. Our home was built 2 years ago, I chose the color, and the design of this house.

My loving parents, they listened to everything I wanted. Katulad nalang ng mga larawan namin sa dingding. Ang bawat portrait na nakasabit na napupuno na ng alikabok. Ang kulay puting tiles na sahig. Ang chandelier na may mga berdeng kristal. Our house was also filled with flowers that is inside a vase.

This home reminds me of how beautiful our life was before.

Napatingin ako sa parte ng kusina namin, doon kami nagku-kuwentuhan kapag kumakain. Puno iyon ng tawanan noon. Napalipat ang tingin ko sa salas kung saan naroon mahimbing na natutulog si Mama. Bukas ang TV at hindi nakaayos ang cable nito kaya hindi malinaw.

Papa used to fix the cable. . . tears began welling into my eyes. Those little memories.

Before I burts into tears, I wiped it off and fished my phone out of my pocket. May mensaheng galing kay Rage. Isinend niya ang mga gagawing parte ko para sa research collaboration na ginagawa. May mga iilang mensahe rin ang mga kaibigan ko.

Pero ang hindi ko inaasahan, ang isang message request.

Casper Alderidge:
Accept me, peter. I have something to say.

The guy maybe wanted to say thank you? Pero nagpasalamat naman siya noong nakaraan pa e. That is already enough. Atsaka isang item lang naman iyon. I accepted his friend request and also his message request.

Peter Archerion Dela Cruz:
Hi casper! I'm going to block you once you mention thank you again. It is enough. And also, how are you?

Alam kong masungit ang pinagsasabi ko. I just don't want to be thanked again and again. Kasi kapag paulit-ulit, nawawala ang sincerity. It didn't take long until he responded.

Casper Alderidge:
My days are now better, it's because of you. I just want to warn you about a certain person. . .

Napakunot ang noo ko dahil doon. Warn about who? Isang tao lang ang nasa isip ko at iyon si Rage. Masyado akong kinain ng kuryosidad kaya mabilis akong nag-reply.

Peter Archerion Dela Cruz:
Anong warn ba? At kanino naman?

Casper Alderidge:
Kay Zacharias. He is pretending. That is the only thing that I could say.

After that, I just reacted to his message and did not respond anymore. Si Zacharias nagpapanggap? At bakit naman? Is this a fucking movie para maranasan ko ang paglaruan ng mga tao? I couldn't take any more. Malas talaga ang mga lalaki kahit kailan.

I'll observe Zach first, a word from a person I am not close with should not be immediately taken as true. . . pero kung totoo? Anong makukuha ni Zach sa pagpapanggap sa harapan ko?

That is the question.

• • •

Author's Note:
     Hello everyone! I hope you are having a great day. When writing this story, I was hoping that you could see what I wanted you to see. Appreciate everything that surrounds you whether it is ugly or beautiful, bad or good. Appreciate.