Out Of Reach [Completed]

37. Ears Baby, Ears.

Chapter 37: Ears Baby, Ears.

Love is like a fire, the more it is covered up, the more it burns. At iyon ang nangyari sa amin ni Rage. Siguro nga'y masyado pa kaming bata noon, we couldn't think of which path to take and which decisions we should consider.

Ngayong nasa tamang edad na kami, I think we should weigh out things before we even start it. Isang linggo na simula noong magkita ulit kami ni Rage, he was patient about me. Alam niya namang gusto ko pa rin siya, but still, I want to take our time and catch up.

Hanggang sa nakabalik na kami ng Manila.

Yes, we both decided to go back here. And stay in the same roof. Nanliligaw pa lamang ang lalaki sa sitwasyong ito, ha? I mentally laughed, but yeah, nothing happened between the two of us. He respects me and I love him for it. Minsan lang talaga. . .

"You look extra hotter today." Napalingon ako ng makita ang malaking pigura ng lalaki na nakatayo sa likuran ko. I was washing the dishes. Siguro'y nasabi niya iyon dahil sa hapit na apron na suot ko. "Magluto ka nalang kaya?" Pagsusungit ko. He's my cook, magaling ito sa pagluluto ng kung anu-anong pagkain.

Siya raw kasi ang nagluluto noong nasa hospital pa ang Dad niya.

And to tell you, his Dad died. Binalikan niya si Rage para makipag-usap, ayusin ang gusot sa kanilang dalawa, at makilala ang isa't isa. After he died, he said something to Rage which he wouldn't mention. Basta ang alam ko, 'yon lang.

It feels sad, knowing that he both lost us in a different way. Masakit iyon para sa akin, just imagining him crying without someone to listen to him hurts me. Hindi pa raw sila bati ng Mom niya, but I'm planning to talk to his Mom about that matter.

Pero hindi ko na hahayaang bumalik pa si Rage doon sa bahay nila. He felt suffocated and he was abused. Sapat na iyon na dahilan upang hindi na siya bumalik pa. And I think we can both live this way as he let me saw his bank account yesterday, and I saw a pretty huge money that could help him with his life. Iniwan iyon ng Dad niya.

You know, I realized that everything really happens for a reason. His dad reconciled with him as his Dad was suffering from pneumonia. And at the process of reconciling with his Dad, he let me go. Pero nangyari iyon dahil may rason. Malapit na ang Dad niya. They needed it.

At sa akin naman, I found myself. I realized a lot of things, but still, sticking into the idea of continuing to love him.

And Mama. . . she supported us through this journey, she saw how we both struggled just to be in here. Atsaka hindi na raw ito babalik pa rito as this house reminds her of my Papa. Kaya kami nalang muna rito.

"What are you thinking, hmm?" I didn't notice that he was already so close, bumubulong na rin ito atsaka pahapyaw na hinahalikan ang tenga ko. This guy is the definition of a clingy guy, kahit nanonood kami ng TV ay nakayapos ito. Kapag kumakain, gustong katabi kami at minsan ay sinusubuan pa ako! Ang lala niya na.

Pero minsan, napapaisip ako.

Ang layo niya sa akin noon. He was so far. That I considered him as a distant star. Pero nang tumagal, lumapit ito. . . and there I knew that he wasn't the distant star afterall. He was the moon, the moon that has been observing and loving me.

Living isn't bad, that's what I realized. People come and people go, but that did not apply with him. He came, but he didn't go. And hindi ako papayag na aalis ito. Napansin kong lumayo ang lalaki sa akin at naghanda na ng mga sangkap para sa gagawing pagluto. Nagsuot na rin ito ng apron.

He is wearing a gray compression sleeveless shirt, hapit na hapit ito sa katawan niya. Ano bang ginawa ko sa buhay na 'to para makatanggap ng isang lalaking ganito?

"Quit staring babe," Usal nito habang hinihiwa ang patatas. "Hindi pa kaya kita sinasagot," Pagsusungit ko pa. Napatingin ang lalaki sa akin at bigla akong nginisihan. Nagwala naman ang mga laman loob ko, ang guwapo! "You'll not say yes to me as your boyfriend," Napatas ang kilay ko sa sinabi nito. "You'll say yes to me as your husband." Napatawa ako at napatigil sa paghuhugas, kumuha ako ng baso na nasa gilid at uminom ng tubig.

Mabibilaukan ata ako sa sinasabi niya.

"Magc-college pa tayo, huy." Sita ko sa kanya.

Tumango naman ito. "We will finish college and get married, what do you think?" Mas lalo akong namula dahil sa sinabi nito, he is thinking too much ahead!

"Hindi pa 'yan sigurado," I said. "Baka mag hanap ka ng babae, naku." He chuckled after hearing what I've said kaya napatingin ako sa kanya na nakataas ang kilay. Pailing-iling pa ito habang pasimpleng fline-flex ang biceps habang nagmi-mix ng nilulutong afritada.

"I'll said this many times, you need to trust me, babe." Sabi nito. "I went to Russia, they have a lot of pretty chick there. But did I ever look at them the same way I looked at you? No. Because you're the one I have been looking for. Wala akong pakealam kung babae sila. Ikaw na 'yan e." I could not breathe as I hear his words, he sounded so genuine and full of love.

"Oh siya," Inilagay niya ang bowl na may lamang afritada sa lamesa at kumuha ng mga pinggan sa gilid ko. Humalik pa sa tenga ko, ano bang gusto nun? Ako o ang tenga ko? Napapansin ko na talaga ang lalaking 'to e. "Kain na tayo, hindi kapa ba tapos diyan? I'll wash it later. Kain na." Hinablot ako nito gamit ang matitigas niyang kamay at hinubad ang suot kong apron, pinaupo niya rin ako sa silya na nasa tabi niya.

"What's your plan for today, hmm?" Tanong nito habang kumakain kami. Wala talagang palya! Ang sarap niyang magluto, baka sunod hindi lang ang luto niya ang kainin ko. Ay. "Wala naman, siguro magsta-stay lang ako rito." Sagot ko sa kanya at ibinuhos sa baso niya ang pitcher na may juice.

"I want to spend my day with you, so, would you mind if I ask you on a date?" Napalingon ako sa kanya at napangiti. Nakaka-boring din dito sa bahay. "Syempre." I answered.

"But please, walang libre libre." Pinangunahan ko siya. "Both of us has our own expenses, hindi ako papayag na magbabawas ka ng pera para sa akin." Nagtaas ang kilay nito. Every time na lumalabas kami, siya ang nagbabayad. Hindi naman iyon tama. "No. Everything is mine." Magpo-protesta pa sana ako pero bigla noya akong hinapit papalapit sa kanya.

At hinalikan ang tenga ko bago bumulong.

"I'll claim that lips of yours soon, but for now, i'll have your ears addicted." He whispered. Lumayo naman agad ako sa kanya at tinuro ang pagkaing nasa harapan namin. "Baka magwala ang patatas at carrots, kung ano anong kalandian ginagawa mo!" Sabi ko habang 'di makatingin sa kanya. Pulang pula ang buong mukha ko.

Tawa lang ito nang tawa hanggang sa natapos kaming kumain. Hindi na siya pumayag na ako ang maghugas.

This guy has been doing everything just to keep me safe, feel free and feel less tired. Kada halik nito sa tenga ko, parang nawawala ang mga iniisip ko. May mga times kasi na nago-overthink ako, about our future.

I can't lose him again. Natatakot akong baka sa tagal ng panahon ay magsawa ito sa akin at magmahal ng iba. Hindi ko iyon kakayanin.

"What are you thinking, baby?" Hindi ko man lang namalayan na natapos na itong maghugas. Hawak hawak nito ang mukha ko at pinapa-angat ito. Sinalubong ko ang mga tingin niya. Love is evident in his eyes - alam ko 'yon. I've once saw that eyes before, when Papa stares at Mama.

Napabuntong hininga ako.

"Baby? No overthinking please. I love you." Hindi pa rin talaga nagsi-sink in sa utak ko na sa mga taon na nagdaan, ang daming pinagbago namin. Ang dami naming pinagdaanan. Maybe it was shallow for some people but everything was worth it, from the tears, from the voice cracks, everything seems so worth it.

Lalo na kapag siya naman.