New Chapter!!!
Warning: Flashback of traumatic events (PTSD episode) of rape/sexual assualt is explored within this chapter. Please take care of yourself and read what is most comfortable for you.
Just a heads up that this chapter will viewed from both Minori and Nikolai's POV, so be careful when you read so you don't mix that up!
Enjoy your reading time🫂🩷🩵
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------♠️ MINORI
"Now, show me what you're made of." I challenge before biting my own lip. I don't even know why I did that, but his eyes sharpen, the blue of his eyes deepening, and lust fills them, probably, no, definitely a look that mirrored mine.
There was certain kind of confidence you feel when the person you want wants you just as much. Perhaps even more. It makes you feel so important, so paramount, so vital. Like the world around us doesn't even matter. Like each other's presence was the only existence we needed in our little world.
His arms suddenly takes hold of my backside, gripping the zipper of my dress before he brings it down until the said dress was only loosely hanging by my hips in one fluid motion.
For someone who never ventured in this territory, I was terribly turned on, my centre heating to lengths I have never felt before and was practically begging for a release. And as much as he wanted to rip my dress apart from the way how quickly he unzipped my dress and was now yanking it off my body entirely, I too wanted to that. Desperately. And so I began unbuckling his belt.
He doesn't protest and let me do so without a single complaint. In fact, I think he might just like the idea of me ripping off his clothes just as much as he likes ripping off mine.
Within moments, our clothes are torn apart and thrown away somewhere on the floor, I didn't know where and couldn't care less. That was not the thing on my mind.
Because the only thing invading my mind was how much I wanted him this moment.
Him and me. Our connection. His scent, his touch, just him.
When I had unbuttoned and took away his dress shirt, pleasantly surprised with the hard ridges of his pectoral and abdominal muscles that were obviously well maintained, I was also greeted with the gallery of tattoos he had. I've seen them before like he has mine, but unlike him, I hadn't had the opportunity to engrain them into memory. Like the eagle that takes majority of his upper chest, or the snake that weaves around itself on his left side.
He lets me take charge and I take the opportunity, dipping my head close to his before crashing my lips onto his again. Our mouths mould together, tongues skating across each other, tasting, exploring, searching for more and more. I cross my arms around his neck, sinking my naked body onto his and let ourselves fall even deeper into the bed, the mattress dipping with our weight.
Our greedy kisses continue, his taste intoxicating in the best way possible. Oxygen was depleting from my body and yet, I felt more energised than ever before. I feel the electrical charge coursing throughout me, against him, exchanging with him.
"So fucking perfect." He rasps.
Hmm, perfect.
Stop! Don't come near me!
No. No. No. No. No.
He's not him. He's not them. Get a hold of yourself.
Stop! Stop! Stop! Make it stop!
♣️ NIKOLAI
She was perfection tailored to me. The way she explores my mouth with her tongue, her body moulding against mine all in the right places. Perfection.
I allowed her to take control knowing that would be more comfortable for her. She was a piece of heaven that was impossible to resist but it was my responsibility to take care of her. If it gives her a peace of mind knowing she can continue or stop when need be, I will let her.
But god was she mesmerising. She was a goddess in her true form.
Sure this wasn't the first time I've seen her naked but having the opportunity to explore and being given the permission look, touch and feel was something else entirely.
Her heat and warmth seeping into me. Her curves and her perky tits, flawlessly connecting to my body. And her tatts. I was and am still impressed by the gallery she has. The vines snaking through torso, the dragon scales on her back, and the Sakura cherry blossoms on her stomach.
"So fucking perfect." I mutter pausing our kiss for a second.
But she turns rigid.
Her eyes dilate. Not from content or satisfaction. But from fear. Genuine fear.
Shit.
"Minori, did I trigger something?"
She takes a sharp breath before her respiratory escalates. Hyperventilating. Tears form and escapes from her eyes. She closes them and wraps her head in her arms.
Lost. She was getting lost.
"Minori, talk to me."
"I'm so p-pathetic." She manages to say out loud, tears building in her lids and escaping down her pale face. "It's already been nine years! Nine years and I'm stuck where I was. I want you! I want to do this with you because I trust you! A-and . . . and I can't even do it." Her voice hitches, her eyes red, her nose red, her cheeks red. Tears continuing to fall and cascade down her cheeks like a dam after a storm.
"You are not pathetic, Minori. You are admirable, giving yourself a chance. You can take all the time you need. Perhaps you may gradually grow comfortable with it, perhaps you may not. Either way is fine. The fact that you want to overcome your past is a massive growth on its own."
"How can you possibly like a person like me? I haven't moved on from what happened almost a decade ago. It's not admirable, its . . . it's stupid. I-I'm hopeless. I'm a lost cause."
The person she sees in the mirror wasn't the person I could see.
She saw a shattered little girl. Hidden in daylight, only to be seen in the shadows and in the darkness of night. The girl who was still crying for the past she had no control over, for the peaceful nights that were replaced by restless, fearful nights.
But the person I could see was a resilient woman. A woman who rose from her past and learnt skills that would enable her to be stronger than ever before. To ensure that the little girl inside her would never cry for the same reason again. An intelligent woman who knew her priorities, a woman who felt more than most people and acted discreetly but accordingly. She didn't deny her feelings or emotions. Her past may still follow her during the dark time, but she didn't allow it to shackle her daily life. She lived how she wanted, in the way she wanted.
She was by far the strongest person I knew.
"If you were a lost cause, you wouldn't be able to admit that you are scared. But you did. You knew that you still need more time. That takes great courage. It's always easier to pretend everything's fine let everybody else do everything. If you were hopeless, you wouldn't have tried. But you did. You did try. You aren't a lost cause or hopeless."
"Do you really think so?"
"Yes." I reply without hesitation because I was sure. "I'll prove it to you if that is what you wish."
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