The crows nest is his favourite place. Koa just feels so free with the wind. It's one of those nights where he sees the shadow of his twin Kin and the shadow of the captain, his uncle walking towards faer. He doesn't think either of them know he's up in the crows nest.
It's one of those nights he just wishes life didn't suck. I nightmare brought him here but he can't leave now because of the tears. Why is he crying? It's so stupid. For some reason when he saw his uncle walk towards Kin, his brain supplied the Kel, his uncle, cares more about Kin than himself. He is selfish and he's crying over it. Koa shouldn't be crying over something so stupid. If he wanted to start spiralling he would've stayed in his fucking room against the door so no one could come in and see him cry.
He doesn't know how long he's been in the crow's nest, the sun is rising, he doesn't want to move, he can't move. He's being called for. It's quiet he can barely hear it. He's not moving, he can't be bothered. He wants everything to stop so he can refocus on what he has to do, to stop thinking about the past and the future and the stupid selfish things his brain supplies. The tears are still falling.
He looks to the sky and lets out a yell, filled with anger, sadness and pain so much fucking pain.
