Needless to say, things were only getting worse. It'd been five days. I'd given Kayn space. I'd tried to put less pressure on him. Nothing changed. Except for the fact that he practically avoided me. Maybe sex was the answer?
Wearing a cute black lingerie set and some stockings, I went to the office. Kayn sat at his computer, working on one of his solo tracks. I leaned over his shoulder, wrapping my arms around him and nibbling at his neck. He sighed and turned around with an unamused expression.
"I'm not in the mood." He groaned, turning back to his computer.
"I don't get it..." I muttered. "Just... I give up."
His brows furrowed as he looked confused. "You give up?" He asked.
"I give up," I confirmed, walking out of the office to our room.
As I got changed I heard the bedroom door crash open. "What the fuck do you mean you give up?" He looked upset, yet I could see hurt in his eyes.
"I don't know what I did wrong, Kayn," I muttered. "Or... No... I know what's wrong with me... I'm not as good as her." When he didn't respond my heart clenched. "You deserve better. She's so much better."
"What are you..." He started as I slid on my shirt.
"Akali!" I yelled as I whipped around with tears in my eyes. "I know you two have history together! I was just a rebound!"
"Akali has nothing to do with us!" He snapped.
I held out my hand, shaking. "Then let me see your phone," I responded bitterly.
"I..." He choked up.
My face contorted into heartbroken anger. "She has nothing to do with this?" I choked out. "You're so full of shit, Shieda Kayn. Thinking I was good enough for you was my biggest mistake."
"Mika," he shook his head, "don't say that."
"I don't know what else you want me to say!" I broke down. "Fucking show me your goddamn phone, Shieda!"
His eyes trailed from my face as he shook his head. "Not gonna happen, Mika." Those words were the gasoline that the inferno in me did not need.
"I fucking took care of you!" I screamed, betrayal running cold through my veins. "For four days I couldn't eat or sleep! I fucking cried for an end to that hell! I quit my fucking job because I saw how it made you feel! I told you everything! I trusted you! Gave everything to you!" I took a deep breath, wiping the tears from my face. "I always knew that I wasn't enough."
"You were more than enough." He replied dejectedly.
"Then, why," I asked. He stayed silent, refusing to look at me. "Did any of this mean anything to you? Did I mean anything to you? Did you actually love me? Or do you tell all of your girls what they want to hear? Tell me."
"I think..." He started shakily, "I think I should go."
Pulling the engagement ring from my finger, I slapped it against his chest. "It'd look prettier on a pop star's finger anyway." I hissed as I walked passed Kayn.
Without thinking, I went downstairs and grabbed my car keys. I tossed on my shoes and got in my car. Taking one last look at Kayn's Corvette, I pulled out of the garage. Tears blurred my vision as I drove. Buildings blurred together. I didn't have a destination in mind. So, when I pulled into the parking lot of Yuri's apartment building, autopilot kicked in.
The elevator felt like it took forever. Her door felt miles away. My hand trembled as I went to knock. It took a minute for the lock to click. As the door opened I saw Yone standing in a pair of shorts.
"Mika!" He gasped, throwing the door wide open. "Are you ok?"
"Mika?" Yuri exclaimed as she walked in. Upon seeing me she ran to me. "Sweetheart, what happened?"
"Fucking cheater!' I cried as I grasped her shirt. "I knew I wasn't enough!"
Yuri held me tight as she got me to the couch. My screams were muffled by her shoulder as I felt my pain pour from my eyes. She held me tight as I cried.
"Hey," I could barely hear Yone's voice, "can you go to Mika's house?... Yeah, that's her... I'm not sure... message me when you get there."
"What happened, babes?" Yuri asked softly.
Still bawling, I tried to get myself together. "Akali... he... they..." Nausea overcame me.
Yone managed to get me the trashcan by the couch before I threw up. Yuri held my hair while she rubbed my back. Spitting, I sniffled weakly.
"I didn't know where else to go," I muttered in a discombobulated babble. "I'm sorry. I don't know what to do. I'm sorry."
"No, babes," Yuri whispered, comforting me.
"You're ok," Yone whispered as he squatted in front of me. "K'Sante is on his way to your house. He'll let us know what is going on there."
"I thought..." I tried to get out a composed thought. "I thought he loved me."
I continued to melt down in Yuri's arms while Yone went between trying to help her and doing things on his phone. Despair dismantled my entire world. No words could comfort me. Broken. Destroyed. Obliterated. My whole life had been pain, yet it felt like I'd never known what that word had meant before.
Finding myself in a wasteland of emotions, I tried to grasp for a reason. Nothing made sense. Had I been too caring? Had I not been enough? He deserved better. Someone who could fulfill his dreams. A person capable of showing him how perfect he was. A woman who could give him everything. I couldn't do that. I had nothing to offer. Even fulfilling the duty of giving him a family was impossible for me. Who'd want a broken body and soul? Who'd want the failure? Nobody, especially not a man who could have anything.
